Can't Cope Must Cope

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Bach

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Can't Cope Must Cope
« on: October 07, 2019, 01:38:13 PM »
Today has barely even begun and it is already exceptionally difficult.  I often feel low first thing in the morning, but usually I can ignore it and even sometimes shake it off by getting up and taking action.  I have done that this morning but the distress persists and is intensifying.  It's warm and muggy day today, with no sun until next week predicted.  Predictions might be wrong, of course, but my internal weather right now is just as oppressive and sticky and grey as it is outside.  I have important things to do today and all I can feel is "I can't.  I can't.  I can't.  I don't want to be here.  I don't want to do this."  I really want to just lie on the couch, take some drugs and binge-watch something that will make me cry. 

I've been sick from this thyroid issue for over a month now.  It's maybe getting better?  A little bit?  But not much, and enduring the symptoms is starting to break my brain.  There's nothing to do but wait.  If this is how my girl with Crohn's feels every day, no wonder she talks about euthanasia.

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sanmagic7

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Re: Can't Cope Must Cope
« Reply #1 on: October 07, 2019, 03:18:48 PM »
dear bach, i wish there was more i could do to ease your distress.  i will send you love and a hug filled with 'hang tough' until you feel better.  so very sorry for your pain.   :hug:

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Kizzie

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Re: Can't Cope Must Cope
« Reply #2 on: October 07, 2019, 03:48:11 PM »
So sorry to hear you are struggling Bach, just wanted to send much care and support your way.  I hope you can internalize it and let it lighten the grey a bit. :grouphug:


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Blueberry

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Re: Can't Cope Must Cope
« Reply #3 on: October 07, 2019, 06:29:11 PM »
 :hug: :hug: Bach, from one feeling pretty low to another.

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notalone

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Re: Can't Cope Must Cope
« Reply #4 on: October 08, 2019, 02:09:08 AM »
Bach, I feel for you. Awful when everything feels unbearable.  :hug:

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Bach

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Re: Can't Cope Must Cope
« Reply #5 on: October 08, 2019, 03:02:11 PM »
Dear friends, thank you for the support.  Yesterday was a nightmare of feeling terrible and yet forcing myself to function because I had to, which is an awful state but ultimately a triumph when bedtime finally comes and I have not completely dropped the ball.  In the middle of all that, I went to therapy and cried a lot, the rare kind of cry where my voice is level and I don't sob or bend my head or cover my face or feel ashamed or apologise or try to stop myself, and that helped me successfully accomplish the most pressing mundane but stressful things I had to do.  Today I have a furious headache but my spirits are better, and I expect to be able to finish yesterday's to-do list.

 :grouphug:

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Kizzie

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Re: Can't Cope Must Cope
« Reply #6 on: October 08, 2019, 03:05:12 PM »
Glad to hear you navigated the day Bach  :grouphug:

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Hope67

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Re: Can't Cope Must Cope
« Reply #7 on: October 08, 2019, 07:04:54 PM »
Dear Bach,
I hope your headache abates soon, and I'm glad to hear your spirits are better and I wanted to wish you well with your to-do list.  Wishing you the best and sending you a gentle hug, if that's ok.  :hug:  It sounds good that you were able to cry in the therapy. 
Take care,
Hope  :)

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woodsgnome

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Re: Can't Cope Must Cope
« Reply #8 on: October 08, 2019, 07:18:01 PM »
Just a deep wish for the peace you deserve today and everyday. It's hard to remember this when it all seems so broken. May these recent events prove to be just a slight detour on your road of recovery.

 :hug:

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notalone

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Re: Can't Cope Must Cope
« Reply #9 on: October 09, 2019, 12:55:49 AM »
Bach, I am glad you are through that difficult day. You have a right to your feelings and I think it's good you were able to cry in therapy without apology. Hope you get relief from your headache soon.