[C.]

Reminder: In order to honor our group process we ask that only current members post and respond here please.  Thank you.

Note:  Your recovery is unique to you.  These topics and activities are suggestions.  Please feel free to do and respond to those that work for you at this time.   

Self-help

4.   You might have been going through this workbook alone.  By Step Four, a support group may prove to be an invaluable source of support and encouragement for your efforts.  Recovery is usually faster and safer if you don't do it alone.  You need people more than you might think.  What have you noticed about the importance of group work?  Or about finding a group for yourself?

[Kizzie]

I can't imagine doing this alone anymore now that I've been at OOTF and here. The validation is such an empowering experience and it's wonderful to be heard, understood and supported finally. As Judith Herman suggests,  having others "bear witness" to our trauma  and in turn to that of others is so very healing.

With respect to face-to-face groups - I did attend a mood disorders group in my area for a bit but most people there were biploar and had not heard of CPTSD so it wasn't as helpful as it could have been. That said, I have mixed feelings about whether and how helpful a face-to-face group specifically for CPTSD would be.  I'm not at all sure how comfortable I would be talking about this in person.  The discussions at the mood disorders group were fairly general, but a group for CPTSD would be less so and that raises some apprehension in me when I think about it.  It's that fear of having the floodgates open, of others seeing all of me I suppose. 

I like being online because I have time to think about what others have said and what I want to say and in writing and responding to posts.  Being in a F2F group doesn't give me the same time and having to be more spontaneous feels threatening almost. Now all of that said, perhaps I am far enough along that it might not be so difficult as it would have been a year ago. 

Good topic to mull over! I will be spending part of my time in a large city (we live in a small town) now that my H has come out of retirement and will be working fuill time there (I will be going back and forth between there and where we currently live), and there may be a group there I could attend.

[C.]

I know what you mean about the F2F group not understanding.  I suspect within the next few years the numbers will change since I think there are a lot of undiagnosed people out there, I was one for 40 years.  I will be curious to hear how that goes for you.  I just discovered a few groups within my metro area so I'm thinking that I'll look in to it after we complete this workbook.  I feel very cautious about confidentiality and labels.  So often when "professionals" are involved I feel condescended to in a group setting, and with all of the covert abuse there'd need to be at least another person who "gets" it...

[VeryFoggy]

For me Out Of The Fog felt like I'd found a home and Out Of The Storm is a place to take my newly diagnosed condition and find others facing and fighting the same things. 

When I post, it feels like crowd surfing or body surfing.  I am just throwing myself out there and hoping somebody will catch me. And they always do.  Always.  It is a way to build trust in others that I have never experienced much of at all in life. And I for one would be lost without these forums.  Just really still stumbling around knowing something was terribly wrong, but not what or what to do about it.

So thank you, all of you!  You are helping me learn to trust.  And that is invaluable.

[marycontrary]

I luv you guyz to BITS!!!! Thank you so much!

[C.]

Gracias linda amiga!!!  Right back to you 

[Trees]

I am still dealing with this instinct in me to flee from people.  It feels like a sort of anorexia, such a deep urge to run from a source of necessary sustenance.  OOTS is certainly the safest group atmosphere I have ever encountered, and I find it a positive influence on my life and on my perception of myself.  But it is still a very slow process for an almost feral being like myself.

Some years ago I did try various groups, occasionally making contact with people.  An all-women AA group had several women with childhoods like mine, but I did find the AA format intimidating.  For a while I participated in a group for survivors of sexual abuse, can't remember the exact name, and felt like we were all on the same wavelength.

It seems to me there are fewer groups like that around nowadays.  Maybe it mostly happens online. 

I want to learn to trust.  Thanks to all here for providing such a nurturing environment.   

[schrödinger's cat]

Same here. I can't even begin to describe what a difference Out Of the Storm has made in my life. Everywhere else, I always had to hide such a huge part of myself. And the funny thing is, I never even realized just how much I was hiding, censoring, filtering, translating, and faking. It only became clear once I was here and began to realize: I can just tell things as they are, and there's a fair chance someone will reply and say 'yes, same here'. It's amazing.

And everyone here thinks they're so broken and damaged! Me included, and granted, I can kind of see the point, CPTSD isn't to be sneezed at - but here are SO many things that are healthy and unbroken and wonderful and wise about people here. You've made such an enormous difference. There's so many good things about everyone here, more good things than dysfunctional ones.

[anosognosia]

And everyone here thinks they're so broken and damaged! Me included, and granted, I can kind of see the point, CPTSD isn't to be sneezed at - but here are SO many things that are healthy and unbroken and wonderful and wise about people here. You've made such an enormous difference. There's so many good things about everyone here, more good things than dysfunctional ones.

I agree. Sometimes I see my T look at me with so much admiration at the tenacity and resilience in me.  Some of my friends also say "wow, for what you've been through you're incredibly well adjusted" and it gives me so much hope that I can keep "rowing my own boat" so to speak.

This forum is huge in my process.  I'm mega grateful.

[Kizzie]

  What Anos said  - I am MEGA grateful for all of you   

[C.]

Me, mommy-me and child-me all agree too.  You're all wonderful!