I know this post is a little older but it came up and I read it and I was almost at the same time going through something like you, Boats. I'm so glad your situation had a comfortable and effective resolution for both of you. You probably did her a favor to boot. Although, I know that was a very uncomfortable scenario to be in.
In my similar situation, it amped up because I didn't immediate respond to his frantic messages after he posted something pertaining to me, only in a twisted way, on FB. I backed away and he frantically tried calling, texting, emailing and coming over to my house while I was working. It REALLY freaked me out as I have a fear of engulfment and can't deal with that behavior. Upon my initial short response saying how I felt, he gaslighted me, told me I just needed to think differently and that he did nothing wrong. I thought about replying, but then upon thinking through any which way I said it, I know he would continue to gaslight as this has been a pattern. So, it ended with me just never saying anything again. I still feel awkward and bad about that. I don't want to poke the bear now, but I know there will be the inevitable run-in. I'm glad yours worked out! Maybe I should say something.