Letter to the Teacher

[Hope67]

Letter to the teacher:

I am writing this letter to you on behalf of Little Hope, because she has spoken to me about things that happened when she was in your class at school, and I felt you should know some of her thoughts and feelings about what happened. 

You were much older than Little Hope, she was only 5 years old when she arrived in your class, and I know that she was already traumatised by things that she'd seen when she was much smaller, and she found school quite daunting, but she was keen to do her best.  She already knew that you and her M didn't seem to be very friendly to each other, almost as if you were vying for control over her – and she didn't like that.  Her M didn't seem to like you, and I think that you took some of that out on Little Hope – but I want you to know it wasn't Little Hope's fault – although I think Little Hope tends to think things are her fault.

Little Hope was enjoying doing some painting that day – she knew that you wanted her to mix the red and white in a mixing palette to make the colour pink, but she wanted to be more creative than that, she had her own idea that if she put the red colour down first, and made it nice and wet, then she could add the white afterwards and it would blend and go really nicely and make a lovely pink colour.  If you'd asked her what she was doing, she could have told you – but you didn't wait, you just came and shouted at her, you raised you arm and struck her, and as you did so, the water spilled – and you shouted again that Little Hope was clumsy or said 'It's your fault' - Little Hope can't remember exactly, but you made her feel that she was to blame for spilling the water, and you might have called her 'You stupid girl' - or something like that. 

The thing is – for you, maybe you were frustrated, or annoyed, or just inpatient, and you thought she was annoying, and I doubt you thought much more about this – as you seemed to be a very controlling and angry kind of teacher – you made fun of a boy who had a stutter, and you used to mock and make fun of children regularly.  I don't think you were a very nice teacher, and I want you to know that Hope was already dealing with a very controlling home situation, where she felt she couldn't do the right thing – so school was somewhere she hoped to find some structure and some support, but you didn't give that to her – you made her feel foolish and clumsy.

(As I write this other parts of me are stirring, and want to say things)

There's a part of me that wants to point out that Little Hope probably blamed this teacher for things, because so did her M – i.e. blame that teacher, and there's a part that says - 'But remember the time that the teacher helped Little Hope to make something, because her M didn't have the time to help Little Hope to do it' - so there's a part that is sticking up for you, as you did do something kind on one occasion. 

But Little Hope points out that even then, she was made to feel as if she was annoying, because you had to take that step of helping her with that, because you thought that her M should have done it, and therefore it was annoying.

(Part of me is very upset about this situation – and is wailing inside)

(Physically this affects my throat area – it feels constricted and tight).

I don't think I can write more about this, but I am glad to have started this letter to you, teacher, to talk a little about what happened, and to express things on behalf of Little Hope.

(I've just re-read this, and it is then that I feel very strong emotions, as part or parts of me react – so I'm glad I've written this).

Hope 

[Tee]

  that teacher was not a good teacher.  I'm sorry she treated little Hope in such a way. Hugs if that's ok from a teacher who cares.

[Three Roses]

Hope, I think this answer may need a trigger warning for emotional response to my comments.

First, if I may I'd like to thank Little Hope for inspiring this letter, because it's given me an idea for letters of my own to write.

With your permission, please tell her she is not alone in having a teacher or teachers who were unkind. Please let her know (I've got a mental image of me crouching down so I'm eye level with her, with a warm and understanding facial expression) that it is most certainly not her fault that the teacher(s) were incapable of being functional, "good" teachers. These were grown ups who didn't, couldn't, or wouldn't understand how to behave, who did not acknowledge that they were abusive in their actions to the little people in their care. They were that way before she was their student, and they were that way after she'd left their classroom.

Tender and safe hugs to Hope, Little Hope, and all the littles if it's okay.

[Blueberry]

HOpe, I just want to let you know I read this and I'm sending compassion to you and to little Hope, if it's not too much for her.

[Not Alone]

To Hope and Little Hope:

I think it is wonderful that you were being creative. I feel very angry at that teacher for the way she treated you. What you described was more then her just having a bad day. She should not have been a teacher. The way you were treated brought tears to my eyes. You are special and should be treated with kindness and gentleness. I celebrate you and your creativity.