Hesitant

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Perplex

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Hesitant
« on: November 01, 2019, 09:34:29 AM »
I was diagnosed with CPTSD alongside the obvious depression and anxiety.
I feel I've been stuck in a terrible rut. How does one motivate themselves to do things that will in turn make them more motivated?

I'm hesitant because I fear I'm making up my problems somehow, that I don't have it 'bad enough'. But then again, that's exactly what my parents told me - whom have proven to be less than adequate guardians. Yet I still struggle to know what is truth and who to believe. I've been debating with myself what is best for me. I tried ignoring my CPTSD diagnosis for months, trying to push myself to catch up with everyone else around me. But then I fall behind and I berate myself and my symptoms thinking they're unacceptable to feel.

So, my new method is to embrace it I suppose. As they all say, the first step is acknowledging it right? I'm always afraid to speak out about my diagnosis in fear of being attention seeking or accidentally disturbing others. So I'm hoping here I can just let those thoughts out a bit.

Thanks for reading.

Regards,
Complex.

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Blueberry

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Re: Hesitant
« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2019, 12:02:16 PM »
Hello Complex and a warm welcome to the forum :heythere:

Lots of us wonder about 'not having had it bad enough'. That's often because our parents told us that.

You fit in here just fine with your diagnosis.

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Kizzie

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Re: Hesitant
« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2019, 03:50:24 PM »
Hi and welcome to OOTS Complex  :heythere:   As Blueberry wrote, members often join wondering if they had it bad enough to be here.  It usually doesn't take long to understand that if you're here you are dealing with trauma and you're more than entitled to support, validation and encouragement.   :yes:

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Three Roses

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Re: Hesitant
« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2019, 05:22:15 PM »
Hello and welcome! I'm sorry you have need to join a forum such as this but very pleased that you've found us. Tons of info and support here.

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Yet I still struggle to know what is truth and who to believe.

This is very common among us here, as well as the feeling we don't have the right to complain, or that we should be thankful for whatever crumbs were tossed out way...but you most certainly do have the right to talk about whatever is bothering you, whatever hurt you, whatever violence and/or neglect was done to you...and if anyone says differently you also have the right to ignore them. They're wrong to try and silence you. As far as who to believe, I'd vote for believing yourself and the truth you carry in your heart.
:heythere:

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notalone

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Re: Hesitant
« Reply #4 on: November 01, 2019, 07:32:33 PM »
Complex,
Welcome.  :heythere: I hope that as you read what others have written, and post at your comfort level, that you will feel affirmed and validated in what you are feeling and experiencing.

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Jazzy

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Re: Hesitant
« Reply #5 on: November 01, 2019, 10:31:01 PM »
Hi Complex, and welcome!

I hope you find what is best for you. Its great that you are looking to improve yourself.

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So I'm hoping here I can just let those thoughts out a bit.
I've found this to be a great place for that! Everyone here has been really supportive.

Take care! :)

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woodsgnome

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Re: Hesitant
« Reply #6 on: November 01, 2019, 11:12:47 PM »
You've probably already encountered enough descriptions of what's really bad, good, and the rest.

We each have a built-in expert to consult, however -- so what does your heart say?

It doesn't matter what others say, you'll know it from your heart. It won't let you down like the others did.

And welcome!  :hug:

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Perplex

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Re: Hesitant
« Reply #7 on: November 02, 2019, 03:53:30 AM »
I just want to thank all of you for replying.. it really means a lot to me and I can't explain how good it feels to just be heard.
I've never really thought of 'listening to my heart'. I just listen to what my head tells me but... my head is pretty weird. heh
Thanks again.

Regards,
Complex.

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Kizzie

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Re: Hesitant
« Reply #8 on: November 02, 2019, 02:15:04 PM »
 :grouphug:

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Snowdrop

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Re: Hesitant
« Reply #9 on: November 03, 2019, 08:26:11 AM »
Pleased to meet you, Complex. :wave: