Such a Difference

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Kizzie

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Such a Difference
« on: November 05, 2019, 04:46:37 PM »
So we moved into a brand new house in another province and it has been such a different experience than when we moved into what we thought would be our retirement home 6 years ago.

Like many people with Complex PTSD I have social anxiety and having a contractor working on that house was incredibly anxiety provoking for me. That and having neighbours who were very curious about us put me into high alert mode - it was beyond exhausting.  Plus my H was away during the first 3 months we were in the house finishing out his time in the military so it was just me.  It did not go well. 
 
Currently we have three tradespeople in our house doing finishing work and they will be here for about 3 weeks. Amazingly I'm mostly fine with it and that's no small feat considering how my home has always been my sanctuary so yay to recovery  :cheer: 

All of the work was supposed to be done by the time we moved in and while my H and I weren't pleased it wasn't and I went to my "don't rely on others, they will always let you down" place,  I'm not on my own this time and I've been working on recovery so I've been able to let that go. We're just working with the builder/contractors to 'git er done' in as cordial but firm manner as possible. Normally I would get stuck in those angry, let down feelings but I just don't want those toxins flowing through my system and I realize that me having a defensive/angry attitude would not be helpful. Again, yay to recovery  :cheer:

And finally, my H was going through some things in the face of moving away from a province we love and retiring which caused some very real stress/distress on both our parts.  My H who is normally a steady and calm guy was quite difficult to live with and I had to let him know in the strongest terms that while I understood he was having difficulties and wanted to support him, he could not continue to take it out on me. He shifted out of that thankfully and has been much easier to deal with.  My recovery helped  me understand why he was behaving as he was, but also that I needed to tell him he was being difficult and was pushing me to my limits.  Love and boundaries get you through when someone loves you and is in there and able to connect. Nothing like this ever worked with my family because of their NPD sadly.

Anyway, just thought sharing about my bumps, lessons and successes gives a measure of reassurance/hope that working on recovery is worth it.
« Last Edit: November 06, 2019, 05:04:19 PM by Kizzie »

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Blueberry

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Re: Such a Difference
« Reply #1 on: November 05, 2019, 04:54:46 PM »
 :cheer: :cheer: :cheer: so much progress and recovery!!  :hug:

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Three Roses

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Re: Such a Difference
« Reply #2 on: November 05, 2019, 05:26:49 PM »
Wow! Yay to recovery, indeed! Here are some virtual housewarming gifts for you! Flowers, cake & ice cream, and a mug of hot cocoa or coffee (or tea 😉) 🌻🌷🌿🌺🌼  🎂🍰🍨 🍵

Wish they were real gifts.  :hug:

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Kizzie

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Re: Such a Difference
« Reply #3 on: November 05, 2019, 09:24:11 PM »
Tk you both  :hug:  and  :hug:

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notalone

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Re: Such a Difference
« Reply #4 on: November 05, 2019, 10:07:09 PM »
Kizzie,
Thank you for sharing those significant triumphs.  :cheer:

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Jazzy

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Re: Such a Difference
« Reply #5 on: November 06, 2019, 12:06:24 AM »
That's great Kizzie; so glad to hear it! Congratulations on the successful move. Take care! :)

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mikenoodle

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Re: Such a Difference
« Reply #6 on: November 06, 2019, 12:39:14 AM »
 :cheer: :cheer: :cheer: Congrats kizzie!!! :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:

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Kizzie

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Re: Such a Difference
« Reply #7 on: November 06, 2019, 05:03:31 PM »
Tk you, feels good to share some positive news every once in a while  :yes:   

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Contessa

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Re: Such a Difference
« Reply #8 on: November 06, 2019, 07:34:59 PM »
I am very happy to hear this news Kizzie. Yes, it is all worth it and we can get stronger. You have taught me that just by your presence and management on this forum.  :thumbup:

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Kizzie

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Re: Such a Difference
« Reply #9 on: November 07, 2019, 01:16:11 AM »
 :hug: