Hi Eyessoblue, Not feeling heard or listened to is annoying and really plays into my whole Inner critic monologue.
I said I’d chosen her because I wanted emdr specifically which she nodded and told me how she operates etc.
I'm wondering if in her explanation of how she operates she talked at all about how many sessions she utilizes for preparation? My understanding is that an EMDR therapist who really knows what they are doing will not start EMDR without first building a foundation with a client.
This would involve a few to several sessions of Preparation, used to make sure we have tools or techniques to handle what might come up during an EMDR session. I've had a few EMDR sessions and it involved some of the deepest work I've done. It also dislodged a whole new slew of memories and really sent me on a lengthy EF, which I really needed extra resources to handle. I'm not saying that would be your experience, but I think it's pretty common.
It sounds like she is working on creating relationship with you and making sure there are sufficient resources to dig in. Then there are also installing positive cognitions, which sometimes is a separate session as well. I would totally discuss this with her and find out what the path ahead looks like. It sounds like maybe more communication about that is needed and should have been explained in your first meeting. It also says to me that it sounds like she does know what she's doing as far as creating safety in the process--which is a bonus.
I hope you can have that conversation with her and ask her to lay it all out for you, so you can make a decision about moving forward with her or not. I'm super uncomfortable with that kind of face to face telling how I feel--for me it's standing up for myself, and it is so important in the therapeutic relationship, to trust in the relationship, even if you don't continue working together.
Maybe there is some literature she could recommend as well. I find more information always helps me feel more secure in the process and I want to feel like my T and I are working together when it comes to my recovery. Not so much playing follow the leader.
I hope whichever path you choose you feel supported and heard.