Meditation with cptsd

[Blueberry]

Not wanting to hijack Bach's Journal, I'm going to add some ways I manage to meditate or do similar here. My methods may not work for everybody with cptsd but they may help some.

- eyes open
- standing
- give myself permission to snap out of the meditation as soon as something mildly unpleasant or frightening turns up
- give myself permission to do so even if I am in a group and you're told to stay still because moving even silently disturbs the meditation atmosphere and throws other people off (my sensitivity here takes precedent over theirs)

You don't have to kneel for 30 minutes motionless concentrating on your breathing. There are more active types of meditation, e.g.:
walking slowly, concentrating on your steps
colouring in, especially mandalas works well for me from outer ring to inner 
repetitive singing
even some banal jobs e.g. weeding work for me, so long as I don't set any goals or try to do it methodically

Although I've never tried it myself, probably even hugging a tree would work, if it's your thing.

Any more tried and tested methods (tried and tested by you) or good links, add them to the thread

[Three Roses]

Sitting or standing quietly in nature, noticing all the colors, feeling the breeze on my face, feeling the sun or the cold (whichever is there), noticing my beating heart and all the life around me, seen and unseen;

Listening to music, alone, with earbuds in, different types of music for different days, but for soothing I especially like artists like Drifting In Silence, Liquid Mind, Steve Halpern; I let myself be carried away on the waves of the tones and the feelings of peace they invite;

Finally, although it's not stillness but an activity, I find the same sort of release and relaxation from little art projects like the rock painting that is so popular in my area.

I've also found singing, walking slowly, coloring and weeding enjoyable and relaxing.   

[Snowdrop]

These won't work for everybody and it may be because of the type of meditation I practice.

If an uncomfortable emotion arises, it helps if I can sense where in my body it's coming from. If I can breathe into that part of my body, the emotion goes away after a few minutes. I realise this approach isn't for everybody! I echo Blueberry's words about being kind to yourself, and giving yourself permission to step away.

Another thing that I've recently found helpful is if I ask the part of me that's intruding to please step aside for a while. I've found this particularly useful before doing tai chi etc.

[I like vanilla]

I have never been able to do the sit-still-and-have-a-blank-mind type of meditation that so many insist is the right way to mediate.

I thought I could not meditate at all until someone close to me who has an interest in the topic pointed out that I do meditate. I go on early morning walks and touch base with myself and my inner children and my feelings, and just let my thoughts and feelings flow through me to see what comes up. It turns out that this is not just a form of meditation but a 'valid' one. So, now I know I can mediate. I just generally need to be in motion while I do it.

[arale]

I've found that the most effective way to get me to want to meditate is to first do some yoga. The yoga sets me moving in my body and directs my attention inward to my breath. By the end of a yoga routine, there are usually a few minutes of lying on the mat just feeling into the sensations that are slowly settling from the movement - that also is meditation. By then, I'm ready to stay still (at least for a short while), and I'm used to following my breath and sensations. Sometimes, I can only do a few minutes of following my breath. Other times, I'm ready to go further. And I like to be accompanied by Tara Brach's guided meditations (free from her website). They range from 5 to 30 minutes. She has such a gentle kind voice. She always starts with anchoring my awareness in my body. She leaves a lot of silence because often, she guides the listener to just listen.

And, I concur with earlier posts: I don't force myself to stay there if I don't want; I don't force myself to stay still if my body feels like moving. I used to force myself to meditate like "normal" people. It built up so much resentment in me that I never wanted to meditate. Disempowering myself was counterproductive.