Learning to Notice Abuse

[Aphotic]

I'm still not the best at picking up red flags in abusers, however I am getting better at speaking up about the interactions I have - which in turn helps me to avoid people that might hurt me again. I've been talking to my therapist about tone and language, trying to determine when someone is being aggressive, assertive, or passive... I think I'm slowly making progress.

But I mainly wanted to commend myself because a month ago I went no contact with someone who was slowly getting a hold of me. I sort of had an inkling that his words were manipulative, and whilst I couldn't completely figure it out on my own, I did at least seek help about it.
Trigger warning - Emotional abuse
He kept pushing blame onto me, stating I HAD to talk to him every day, had to say good morning. When I told him I had work to do, he said it wasn't good enough. He said he wasn't asking for much so I should follow his demands. When I changed my mind about coming to see him face to face, he became furious with me, saying I wasted his time and efforts, saying that I only think of myself.
End Trigger
But the thing is, I noticed it was abusive and I actually took a step back.  So I'm happy about that.

But now my next challenge is to deal with this friend of mine... he's not abusive per say but I feel that I still need the same amount of courage, confidence, and self worth to be able to set boundaries between us. Being around him triggers my EFs and I need to learn to just... let go. I've known him for 7 years, which has made it hard to end that commitment. But I'm trying to tell myself that it's the best for me. I just can't be around someone who makes me feel like an idiot...

Overall though, it's progress!

[Not Alone]

But I mainly wanted to commend myself because a month ago I went no contact with someone who was slowly getting a hold of me.

But the thing is, I noticed it was abusive and I actually took a step back.  So I'm happy about that.

Well done. That is important progress.

[Three Roses]

Progress! 

[Blueberry]

  

[Kizzie]

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