[Pilgrim]

Hi. I know I'm not in the best of places at the moment so I may be very over-sensitive but when my psychologist told me this week quite strongly that we will be having 10 sessions on a particular therapy (we've seen each other about 5 times so far and my psychologist wants to press on ahead as we are having "mission drift") I just felt "oh no, now I have 10 weeks to get better and shoe-horning a complex condition  into a "1 size fits all" therapy doesn't fill me with confidence". I appreciate that I'm getting help and I always approach things with an open mind because I do want to get better but I've been shoved into other "1 size fits all" therapies and when the promised panacea doesn't work I feel even more like a failure. It's like more trauma. I feel it just never seems to end. I hid my mental health problems for so long and then finally plucked up the courage to confront them - got misdiagnosed first and then therapy for a condition I didn't have (and that therapy didn't work) and I sometimes wish I had just kept it all hidden and stopped existing. I'm trying, desperately, not to close my mind to this but I already feel worse - like I've been a bad child not staying on topic and wasting the psychologist's time. I'm sinking, drowning - and I don't even have it in me anymore to wave.

[Three Roses]

I for one am glad you're here and that you didn't stop existing. I see you in that water and you don't have to be waving, I'm sending you a life raft.

I'm hearing this from so many different sources these days, how therapy is being limited to x number of sessions and we are just expected to magically get better in a predetermined amount of visits.    My own hmo sets the limit at 8 visits for the client to reach a goal which she and the therapist agree upon together. They call it goal oriented therapy. But in my case, after the 8 visits, there is a re-examination of the goals and the client can still have more visits to help them achieve their goal. It's just not open ended anymore.

More and more it seems we are on our own, but I believe this will change soon because I'm also seeing a shift in the therapeutic community's awareness of trauma. Standing with you. 

[Pilgrim]

Thanks for the life raft - I'll ask at my next session what happens when we reach the magical number 10. There was alluding to re-assessing things but also that a break would be necessary. Break? - does that, in reality, mean the crack I will simply fall through. I've started reading "Complex-PTSD: from surviving to thriving". I think I might get more out of the book.

[Three Roses]

It was a landmark book for me. Changed how I saw my symptoms and gave me hope that I could get better.

Snowdrop linked me this video which is part 1 of 4, I purchased his book and it will arrive today. I'm stoked. https://youtu.be/2UfmGwENz9M

Also, here's a pretty long video, she is speaking to a room full of therapists about trauma and how it's different from what they have been told. https://youtu.be/otxAuHG9hKo (And don't be worried, although speaking at Forum of Christian Leaders she only mentions anything remotely religious very briefly pretty deep in to the video.) I thought this video would encourage you to see that there are changes coming in the therapeutic community.
 

[woodsgnome]

I just want to lend support for your commitment to honour your needs while being open to the proposed program. At the least it shows resolve on your part to see that there might be benefits from the suggested program but that you need to find compatible areas to blend in with the sessions. Otherwise, if the point seems to be entirely therapist or insurance-driven it doesn't seem right.

Here's where it seems wise to have outside sources, like Walker's book and the links Three Roses suggested, from which to draw further ideas. The advantage of Walker's material for many is that he's traveled both sides of the fence, as cptsd survivor and as a therapist.

There are so many aspects to therapy, and being in it can feel very fragile. Too often it seems like the already vulnerable patient is discounted in favour of programs over which they have no input. Fine, except -- it's their therapy, and life, that's at risk. The professionals can tend to forget that their service and obligation is above all -- to and for the patient, with the latter's input when appropriate.

Hoping you can find a positive outcome with this.     

[Not Alone]

I'm wondering if his 10 sessions is based on insurance/payment or if it is what he has decided. Regardless, very upsetting.