General overwhelm

[Boatsetsailrose]

I'm feeling overwhelmed in my recovery... There is so much to manage and I'm tired of striving...
I need to strip it back and keep it simple..
It's like being my own therapist, parent, guide whilst being the patient, child and lost one...
I have lots of support but still feel this way..
I wonder if I strive to hard... Um yes... I wonder...
Trying to get there and needing to slow down and take stock for a while..

Anyone's exp in this area welcome

[Not Alone]

I get it. The "list" of what I need to deal with is so long. I am learning that when I push myself too hard it usually ends up being counter-productive. (I have just written and deleted, written and deleted. I can't seem to get my thoughts coherent on this.) There are times I just need to let myself be.

[woodsgnome]

This sense of overwhelm is something I find myself grappling with regularly. And for someone who in general hates conflict, this tends to feel like being at war with oneself.

The first thing I notice is a tendency to think I need to get it just right (perfectionism) or it won't work; and/or the list is so long it feels impossible to overcome. And yet how would I even know what perfect is? So I'm learning to toss that false assumption aside, which clears out that bit of mental fog.

What goes best for me is to incorporate items of beauty as often as possible. This can be as simple as listening to my favourite music.

That said, I can still be my own worst enemy. I recall a recent evening when after a few hours spent listening to some outstanding music, I spent the after-while absorbed in analyzing my reaction to the beauty by wondering if I couldn't have enjoyed it more (!?!), why I didn't, and ... grrrrrrrr! 

Old habits kicked in and ruined what had been a gorgeous evening. This is still so new to me -- actually allowing myself to enjoy things I truly love.

Maybe another word to consider here is flow?  And truly just taking steps that seem doable, instead of caving in to the enormity of trying to undo a past life no longer in existence (the good news!).

All things considered, it's hard work. And weird as it seems, allowing enjoyment in as part of the new 'norm' seems essential. As Notalone puts it: "just be me".

[sanmagic7]

i totally relate, bssr.  that happens too often for me, on both sides of your equation.  it's disconcerting and de-stabilizing at times.  i so badly want this over, and i know i push myself too hard at times, but i don't always know it's too hard until the aftereffects.

i think you realizing that you may need to step back for a minute or so is one to respect. 

sending love and a hug filled with a little time to catch up.

[Boatsetsailrose]

Yes not alone I hear you thank you
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There are times I just need to let myself be....

[Boatsetsailrose]

Thanks San yes I figure it's nearly the end of the year..
I'm gonna take a 'perfectionistic, driven, I need to get there, let me be really hard on myself' holiday and go to

Imperfect, slow down, get where? Self compassion Island for a while in fact I may ask for the choice to stay there 😁

[Boatsetsailrose]

Woods gnome you write so well...

Overwhelm must be where self compassion can soothe and work its beautiful magic.
As I read recently perfect doesn't exist so why do I entertain it..? Its undeniable unattainable status.
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' analyzing my reaction to the beauty by wondering if I couldn't have enjoyed it more (!?!), why I didn't, and ... grrrrrrrr!

Oh my goodness yes I so identify I can analyze myself into a state of not being good enough at breathing..

If I get perfect... I'll be likeable...

If I get unperfect I may just be able to enjoy myself...

Let go

Be in creative flow

Be happy