Stutter - Deep Blue

[Blueberry]

Now I understand your pain and fear more deeply too, Deep Blue.   

[sanmagic7]

hey, db,

this situation is bad enough on its own - couple it with abuse nightmares and experiences, it can only be much, much worse.  taking away our coping mechanisms, leaving us out in the cold, so to speak, no way to escape - yeah, reminiscent of exactly what you described.

sending you heartfelt love and a hug filled with comfort and care - as much as possible in this virtual world.   

[Deep Blue]

My meds have been upped. Hope it starts working sooner rather than later.  Usually about 4-6 weeks with this stuff.

Still having anxiety attacks... My classic triggers seem to have more of an edge these days.  It takes less and less to set me off.

So many flashbacks! It's strange too.  I guess it's the stress of all this but I am getting knocked down by flashbacks a few times a day now!

Today it was looking at a hidden pictures with my son (a drawing of a belt) that's all it took and in came the flashback.  Another as I took my meds, another just from seeing a name... ugh...

Hoping to level out soon

[sanmagic7]

sorry you're having such a rough time with everything, my dear.  sending love and a hug filled with care and support.  i hate triggers!

[Sceal]

Hey Blue,
I am sorry to read that you're having such a rough time. *gentle hug* (if ok?). I hope that the increased medication will start to work for you soon, so that you can catch a break.
Do you still see your therapist regularly? Perhaps some of the therapy work you are doing is too intense at the moment, perhaps you can ask if you can slow down on the content a little, perhaps talk about less triggering thing until your mind and body has caught up?

[Deep Blue]

San,
Yep, triggers are no fun.  Problem is that one of my triggers is loss I'd control and that is basically what a flashback is! 

Sceal,
Of course a hug from you is always nice. Yes I am seeing my t regularly.  We are not working on anything new right now.  We are just working on getting me through this lockdown and covid 19 pandemic.  It's hard for everyone, that is for sure.  It seems that with my CPTSD I'm struggling quite a bit with it.

[sanmagic7]

so, a double whammy - a trigger is a flashback.  that sucks.

i'm glad your t is helping you get thru this.  it's absolutely awful, that's for sure.  sending love and a hug full of everything you need right now

[Three Roses]

Love to you! ❤️💜💙💜❤️

[Hope67]

Hi Deep Blue,
I would also like to send love to you, if that's ok.   
Hope 

[Not Alone]

Deep Blue,
Sending you gentle care. 

[Sceal]

I am joining in with the hugs! 

[Deep Blue]

I'm so done with this lockdown.

Isolated, alone, and so so many flashbacks.  When the sun is out, I can get out... I walk and get outside.

But with each week and day added to this quarantine I feel more and more bleak...

That feeling of being trapped is with me again... it seems to trigger feelings of worthlessness and loneliness.  The flashbacks of being in the trunk of a car.... or being tied gagged and left there are back... I just need some reprieve. 

It's hard to take deep breaths sometimes

[Three Roses]

 

[sanmagic7]

o, sweet deep blue, so sorry you're feeling so trapped, and that it's causing such horrible flashbacks.  sending much love and a hug filled w/ care and comfort.

[Not Alone]

Deep Blue,
I can see where the quarantine is so triggering of your abuse when you were trapped. Ugh! Sending loads of care.