Triggered. . . again

[Not Alone]

Today I received a phone call from work with high pressure to take a new client. I said no and kept to it, but after hanging up, felt anxious and felt like SH.  It felt similar to when the insurance agent was pushing me to see a T who was in network. My T would say to be curious. Why is it so upsetting when someone pressures me? Maybe the bigger question is: "Why so distressing when I say no to someone who is pressuring me?"  A couple of answers came to my mind. I laid on my bed for awhile feeling the foggy head, etc. After about an hour I was able to get up and eat. I wrapped some gifts. Grounding.

The triggered state only lasted about an hour. I've had EFs last days and probably even weeks, so as crummy as it felt, I am encouraged that it only lasted an hour.

Is it possible to get through a week without being triggered? Grrrr.

[Snowdrop]

I'm sorry you were triggered, notalone, but I'm glad the EF faded relatively quickly. Well done for saying no.

I recently read that being curious can help with EFs, so interested to read that your T would say to be curious.

[Bach]

for you, dear notalone.  You are doing so well with things like this; setting boundaries, asserting the validity of your needs, coping with the emotional repercussions of these difficult efforts of self-care and healing.  I understand your frustration at the frequency of triggers.  I think about that a lot because I get triggered nearly every day.  Although most of the time they're not major incidents and I'm usually able to cope well and bring myself back to an even keel without excessively compromising my daily life, it's just exhausting.  Being able to cope and keep the disruption under control is great and I am very thankful for it after all the years of not knowing what was going on and being in a triggered state nearly all the time, but wouldn't it be so nice to know what it feels like to just live?  I hope and believe that if we continue the difficult work we are doing and don't give up despite the pain and frustration, we will be get to a point of being able to experience that more and more. 

[Not Alone]

Snowdrop, thank you for your encouragement and hug.

Bach, always grateful for your compassion and understanding. Yes, triggers are exhausting. Even if I come out of it fairly quickly, like on Thursday, I still experience a "triggered hang-over."

but wouldn't it be so nice to know what it feels like to just live?  I hope and believe that if we continue the difficult work we are doing and don't give up despite the pain and frustration, we will be get to a point of being able to experience that more and more. 

Yes. I trust that to be true.