Newbie needing direction

[Buttonphobic]

Hi everyone, I'm new on here and wondered if you could point me in the right direction. I was assessed as having CPTSD last year and currently having counselling where where we've concentrated on grounding techniques.
My triggers seem to be around abandonment, trust and low self esteem mainly caused by a narsassistic mother who beat me and who left home when I was 12.
The effects of my triggers now threatens my 33 year marriage. Basically I find it extremely uncomfortable when I see my wife around our male friends. It's a deep distrust and fear that she will choose them over me and that I'm not enough of a pull to keep her....when it happens I flash back to previous times in our relationship when there's been similar instances and emotionally cut my self off from her. During these times I have to remove myself from the vicinity, only to return worrying about what could have happened in my absence!!! Could someone tell me on which forum I could chat with people going through similar turmoil?

[Blueberry]

You could have a look at Kizzie's links here: https://cptsd.org/forum/index.php?topic=12302.0   
or try   https://cptsd.org/forum/index.php?board=181.0     

Alternatively you could try our sister website OutOfTheFog e.g. https://outofthefog.website/what-to-do-2/2015/12/3/boundaries  There is a forum there too but I found particularly in early days of healing from cptsd that it triggered me a bit, so be careful. I'd say there's more understanding of our situation with cptsd over here on OOTS and more gentle compassion. Nonetheless there's a lot of useful information on OOTF.       

[Kizzie]

Hi and a warm welcome Buttonphobic   

You may find people respond in the "Disturbed Relationships" sub-forum (https://cptsd.org/forum/index.php?board=248.0), in the "Symptoms" forum or the "Marriage" sub-forum in the "Relationships with Others" forum as BB posted about.

Having issues like you've written about is quite common for those of us who have Complex PTSD given we are survivors of relational trauma so hopefully you'll get some responses in one or both of those.