We understand this pain, meowzers. It seems so much more at the holidays, particularly christmas. BUT, you ARE doing what's best for you, right now. You didn't make such a difficult move without reason, and I'm sure many times of trying. Sometimes there is no real choice. Rest assured WE are here, living and understanding what you are going through.
My ver first christmas NC, my GCsis invited Nm and her husband over, I guess not understanding the depth of feeling on my part. I went with it, we opened a few gifts and superficially visited for about an hour before they had other engagements. In that one hour, Nm managed to trigger a deep wound she had crated, gaslight it, negate and minimize the whole thing, all to put the highlight on herself, all covert and unbeknownst to anyone else in the room. That confirmed I made the right decision moving forward...I think in that early, delicate stage, I was a lot more sad about the prospect of Christmas without her, and may have felt a lot more devastated had I not experienced that.
