Thank you, Bee - reframing by change of perspective seems like a really good suggestion.

WF - first off: You totally deserve breakfast in bed, especially when your sick.

Glad you were able to accept it!
Might be that the ICr is involved in creating the automated thought process. I am still a newby when it comes to ICr work but your insight has given me a lot of stuff for thought. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for your validation, WM - it means a lot to me.

Getting the feelings aligned with the cognitive knowledge is sooooo hard!
Cat - I understand what you mean when you say that accepting a kindness feels like you're inconveniencing people. It does - and it shouldn't. In the future, I'll try to think of it more like Bee suggested - like giving others the opportunity to feel good about themselves by being kind to me.
It was my birthday a few days ago. I
knew no one would be coming who'd have any nasty backhanders prepared for me, yet the two nights before my birthday I still couldn't sleep. It came as a surprise to me when I realized that I felt tense and anxious at the thought of being spoilt and 'celebrated'. I felt like I'd rather that it was anybody's birthday but my own - it's harder to hide in the background if it's your own party...
But that was only the occasion that brought this problem to my attention - sometimes even thanks or a pat on the shoulder can produce the feeling of unease/discomfort.