Any ideas how to find or start interactive CPTSD support group?

Chris336 · January 23, 2020, 06:11:21 PM

I would like to join a live conversation support group, either face-to-face, or using voice conference call (doesn't need to be video conference call)

I live in the greater Philadelphia area. If there is already a F2F support group in this area for CPTSD, please reply here, or if you feel more comfortable about it, send me a private message.

If there's no F2F in my geographical area, I'd like to participate in regular voice meetings - either using phone or using the internet (VOIP)

If neither of those is possible, can someone point me towards resources to help me figure out how to start this kind of support group? What things to set from the beginning, what things to leave flexible until the group gels a bit, how to get it off the ground, what pitfalls to avoid, etc?

Thank you!
"Chris"

Kizzie · January 25, 2020, 02:10:13 AM

Hi Chris - I don't know of any F2F groups in your area of any phone/VOIP groups anywhere but there is one org that offers free material for starting and running a group here - http://www.ascasupport.org/manual.php. I've been thinking of possibly starting a group where I live as it feels like it might be a good next step in recovery.

Bach · January 25, 2020, 03:08:56 AM

I'd love to have a group like this, F2F or telephonic, but I am far too afraid of people to ever try starting one.

Kizzie · January 25, 2020, 05:17:07 PM

I agree Bach and honestly when we're in the throes of CPTSD/RTR do we really have the wherewithal to do so and then keep the group running?

I do put the word out on Twitter quite a bit that trauma professionals/orgs should consider running/ sponsoring free or low cost therapy/support groups for relational trauma survivors. There are so many of us everywhere and we need options, especially ones that help us to move out of isolation and connect with others, and are lower cost or even better free.

Chris336 · April 12, 2020, 06:24:19 AM

Maybe a Video meeting would be something we could try? I know how to host Zoom meetings. People who don't want to be seen can opt-out of including their Video. There are things which can be done to prevent disruptions. E.g. prevent screen sharing, use a waiting room and a password, prevent private chats, and so forth.

brightlight · April 12, 2020, 11:42:59 AM

I think this is a good idea but I think it should be started outside of this forum as this is a safe place for a lot of people and incorporating sessions should be done with someone trained to steer the group.

I encourage you to reach out and contact MH and trauma organisations to start a group like this.

Kizzie · April 12, 2020, 03:51:06 PM

I've stepped back from an OOTS VC group because I'm not ready just now to start/run one, but I think it could be a good option/next step for those who are. So if you want to start your own group outside of OOTS Chris, I'd say why not give it a try?

You're welcome to put up a post under "Announcements" inviting members to contact you if they're interested. It sounds like you have Zoom figured out and that members could preserve their anonymity.

I was wary starting this forum 6 years ago and it turned out to be a helpful space for many so a VC support group may just be another good option for survivors. Heaven knows we need them.

saylor · April 12, 2020, 04:40:21 PM

Quote from: Kizzie on April 12, 2020, 03:51:06 PM
You're welcome to put up a post under "Announcements" inviting members to contact you if they're interested. It sounds like you have Zoom figured out and that members could preserve their anonymity.

I'll bet there would be some takers if you decided to do this, Chris. I think the key is providing anonymity

Blueberry · April 12, 2020, 09:28:11 PM

Quote from: brightlight on April 12, 2020, 11:42:59 AM
I think this is a good idea but I think it should be started outside of this forum as this is a safe place for a lot of people

Though my reasons for thinking along these lines might be different from yours, brightlight. Before I explain my reasons let me say that I do know that I might well be triggered and that childhood trauma might well be affecting my thoughts.

My worry about an interactive support group here on the forum is that those who are participating might form a kind of clique, an 'insider group' versus those who are not participating. So I fear that somebody like me who's not participating will get left out. Undoubtedly this is an EF but maybe there's still a grain of truth in my worry? Of course I could join the interactive group, but I probably wouldn't because group dynamics can lead to triggering situations for me - which tend not to be good for me or for other people in the group. I don't think for a minute that the participants would form a clique on purpose or want to leave anybody out because that's not what happens on this forum. I've done a lot of group and/or community therapy, including days or even weeks at a time, and although it can be very supportive, very informative, very validating it can also go really deep, trigger a lot of pain e.g. with your own realisations about how you function in a group (or don't function as the case may be) and throw you for a total loop. Could the group contain that? I have experience of 12 Step groups where the group couldn't contain and bear what all came up in a person. Could an unhealthy dynamic develop in the interactive group? Would the interactive group have the same Member Guidelines as the rest of the forum? Possibly these are some aspects worth considering in advance?

marta1234 · April 13, 2020, 06:28:56 AM

I support blueberry on this one. I feel like what I really like about this forum is that it is safe and there is anonymity. A chat would exclude people and might become what blueberry stated. Although I know that it would be beneficial, what brightlight proposed was great and I feel it's better in any case if a trained therapist is leading the group.

Chris336 · April 13, 2020, 04:24:21 PM

I think some people may be making assumptions which I did not intend.

My intent is structured, co-hosted, anonymous, weekly video/voice-only support group meetings. A free-for-all interactive "chat room" is too chaotic, and gets over-run by those who can shout the loudest.

I'm thinking about how 12-step programs have traditions and principles to guide them when they support each other. That's the sort of direction I would want to go in. Tradition 12 of 12-step programs usually goes something like this: Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities. I also like the "no-crosstalk" format used in those meetings. This means that we don't make recommendations, suggestions, comments on other people's shares. We don't give or ask for advice, saving that for after-meeting if people can hang around. We do respond compassionately and supportively when someone shares something which moves us. A huge part of human communication is non-verbal. In a meeting where we can see each other, facial expressions and body language can be very supportive without being intrusive.

I took a look around the net and found these three websites which support adults who have survived childhood abuse. At least one of them already appears to have Zoom meetings:

1) "HAVOCA is run by survivors for adult survivors of child abuse. We provide support, friendship and advice for any adult whose life has been affected by childhood abuse."

2) "We have a single purpose at NAASCA, to address issues related to childhood abuse and trauma including sexual assault, violent or physical abuse, emotional traumas and neglect"
NAASCA's daytime Recovery Meetings, now held Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays, are coming to you virtually on ZOOM

3) "Adult Survivors of Child Abuse (ASCA SM) is an international self-help support group program designed specifically for adult survivors of neglect, physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse."
Resources for starting meetings: http://www.ascasupport.org/meetings.php

There might be more out there.
______________

So maybe what I'm looking for already exists. If I do start a meeting, I would want a co-host to help me keep on eye on the clock so everyone can take a turn sharing, to make sure I'm not going 'off-course,' and be able to step in and help me if necessary.

thank you,
Chris

Kizzie · April 13, 2020, 04:33:12 PM

Tks for the clarification and sharing the info you found Chris

(Note: Here are the links for the National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse - http://www.naasca.org/ and Help for Adult Victims Of Child Abuse - https://www.havoca.org/.)

I also just want to clarify that I was not considering starting a VC group here any time soon, I was just encouraging Chris to move forward with setting up one outside of OOTS and offering to help let members/guests know about it.

Blueberry · April 13, 2020, 05:59:07 PM

Thanks for the clarifications, Chris and Kizzie!

brightlight · April 13, 2020, 07:43:57 PM

Quote from: Blueberry on April 12, 2020, 09:28:11 PM
Quote from: brightlight on April 12, 2020, 11:42:59 AM
I think this is a good idea but I think it should be started outside of this forum as this is a safe place for a lot of people

Though my reasons for thinking along these lines might be different from yours, brightlight. Before I explain my reasons let me say that I do know that I might well be triggered and that childhood trauma might well be affecting my thoughts.

My worry about an interactive support group here on the forum is that those who are participating might form a kind of clique, an 'insider group' versus those who are not participating. So I fear that somebody like me who's not participating will get left out. Undoubtedly this is an EF but maybe there's still a grain of truth in my worry? Of course I could join the interactive group, but I probably wouldn't because group dynamics can lead to triggering situations for me - which tend not to be good for me or for other people in the group. I don't think for a minute that the participants would form a clique on purpose or want to leave anybody out because that's not what happens on this forum. I've done a lot of group and/or community therapy, including days or even weeks at a time, and although it can be very supportive, very informative, very validating it can also go really deep, trigger a lot of pain e.g. with your own realisations about how you function in a group (or don't function as the case may be) and throw you for a total loop. Could the group contain that? I have experience of 12 Step groups where the group couldn't contain and bear what all came up in a person. Could an unhealthy dynamic develop in the interactive group? Would the interactive group have the same Member Guidelines as the rest of the forum? Possibly these are some aspects worth considering in advance?

Blueberry - I hope you don't mind me quoting your whole message. Its easier for me to reply to as I agree with pretty much everything you said. I have not been part of a therapy group but have been part of a drop in group which had some very unhealthy dynamics as this should have been a time limited group and these people were there for up to 7 years which is unhealthy in itself. There was already a before and after people and I found from certain people competition for best drama (really no need when you know your * bad anyway!) and jealousy if you had achieved anything in order to try and move on with your life. So my point is this is safe and constructive and having an 'in' and 'out' group would be counter intuitive. I agree with marta1234 this forum is good because it is safe anonymous.

I know chris336 has clarified the f2f sessions but I just wanted to input my thoughts on this when I saw Blueberry's post, to support and agree with what she said.

I think Chris336 12 step idea is very good and wish you luck with it!

Kizzie · April 14, 2020, 04:46:40 PM

If I were to join a VC group I would want it to be like Chris described where there are solid guidelines to keep participants focused and set a considerate, respectful tone. Otherwise, as Chris wrote: "A free-for-all interactive chat room is too chaotic, and gets over-run by those who can shout the loudest."

It would also take a good moderator/facilitator IMO. The F2F group I tried a month or so ago had a covert N spouting religious/AA recovery principles and dominating the entire meeting with all that he had read and thought about trauma. I lasted until the break, then left. The http://www.naasca.org/ looks like it has facilitators and has been around a while - might be worthwhile seeing what it's like for anyone that is interested in a VC group. Also, the http://www.ascasupport.org/meetings.php has training and materials for facilitators.