Nightmares

[Windflower]

Posting twice today - the person I usually talk to about this stuff won't be available for awhile. Not usually a fan of virtual support (in person people are always a stronger connection especially because I struggle with very severe depersonalization and derealization). But that is not an option right now. So I may be here a lot the next couple weeks... thank you in advance.

Has anybody found anything that helps nightmares? I am not talking occasional nightmares but 5-6 on average every single night. I can't take anymore of them my brain is just shot from all that I am dealing with. Need some practical advice or honest support if anybody can manage it because I feel insane.

[Rainagain]

When mine were at their peak I used to nap during the day, daytime seemed nightmare free and it helped with the sleep deprivation too.
Mine eased over time, I hope things improve for you too.
I found being highly stressed during the day was a cause, if you can keep your day calm it might help.

[Kizzie]

Sorry to hear this Windflower, nightmares are common for us unfortunately but it sounds like something has really triggered you and if you can get at that they may subside. You can do that here of course, but there might also be some F2F group in your area for abuse/neglect. That would give you the opportunity to connect and talk to others in person.

Also, have you talked with your doctor about this and do you see a therapist?

[Three Roses]

Controlling your dreams while you are still asleep is possible with practice. For more info, here's a link, or Google "lucid dreaming". https://www.huffpost.com/entry/how-to-control-your-dreams_n_6296526

Best wishes!

[Snowdrop]

It's also worth seeing if nightmares might be linked to something you've eaten. I've discovered that if I eat cheese from one specific creamery, I'll get ferocious nightmares.

[Windflower]

When mine were at their peak I used to nap during the day, daytime seemed nightmare free and it helped with the sleep deprivation too.
Mine eased over time, I hope things improve for you too.
I found being highly stressed during the day was a cause, if you can keep your day calm it might help.

That's a good suggestion but unfortunately when I nap during the day it's just as bad, if not worse as I'm so exhausted i go straight into deep sleep where they are the worst. Thanks anyway for the idea.

[Windflower]

It's also worth seeing if nightmares might be linked to something you've eaten. I've discovered that if I eat cheese from one specific creamery, I'll get ferocious nightmares.

Another good idea but I've tried an elimination diet with no change. Took out dairy, sugar, processed food, etc. with no success.

[Windflower]

Sorry to hear this Windflower, nightmares are common for us unfortunately but it sounds like something has really triggered you and if you can get at that they may subside. You can do that here of course, but there might also be some F2F group in your area for abuse/neglect. That would give you the opportunity to connect and talk to others in person.

Also, have you talked with your doctor about this and do you see a therapist?

Honestly... I feel like everything triggers me. Work. Songs. Being around kind people and especially families is one of the worst triggers which makes it very hard to function. Nightmares are triggering in themselves. Sounds like doors closing and footsteps on the stairs. Garage doors closing. Literally everything. So it's kinda hard to pinpoint anything I can eliminate without destroying my livelihood. And no I'm looking into therapists but there are no cptsd therapists in my area and I am reluctant to try any other conventional methods of therapy because I know they can actually make complex PTSD worse as we have unique needs. But I'll keep searching.

[Rainagain]

I remember that exhausted, wrecked feeling so well, sorry you are going through this.

I used to nap on the sofa, maybe daytime sleep not in bed gave my nightmares the slip.

Or maybe it wasnt comfortable so I didn't go into REM sleep at all.

[holidayay]

Hey,

I am dealing with this at the moment too and trying my best to find solutions or at least, something to alleviate symptoms.
So far, I've found spilling out my thoughts/dreams - via journalling/recording myself on my phone/talking to a friend/forums- however convoluted they are, seems to help a bit, and to listen to calming youtube videos about healing from cptsd as I drift off.
The biggest thing to help for me personally is externalising - the trouble is, i don't know if its the same for you or not - a lot of it is so pervasive and seemingly half-completed or thought out things from my young child brain that seems to pop up that its hard to put into words sometimes.

Sighhh...its really frustrating! But its just another step in the process. Wishing you comfort from the nightmares and recovery

[bluepalm]

Hi Windflower - I feel for you. I know how exhausting and frightening what you are experiencing can be. I wanted to pick up on two things from the helpful posts on this thread and add one other thing that helped me.

First: writing down what you remember of your nightmares.

I have found it to be immensely helpful to write down what I can remember of my nightmares. Even just hurried words on a scrap of paper in the middle of the night. For this reason, at times I have kept paper and pencil by my bedside so I can record these words without even turning on a light. 

Also, writing in my private journal the next morning not only the remembered aspects of the nightmares but also any thoughts that arise from them. I follow these thoughts wherever they lead without censoring them. In the past, I have filled page after page with thoughts and in doing so I've unravelled some understanding of what my nightmares are working on. On the other hand, I have also come across scraps of paper with my scribbled words from a nightmare and even months or years later they make sense to me as something I was struggling with or may still be struggling with.

I've come to believe that my capturing in words on paper or on my computer evidence of what my brain is working on in my sleep is like mining gold nuggets. Nothing is wasted. Everything is important. And if I can hold onto this evidence of what my sleeping brain is telling me, I can work with it in the safety of quiet reflection and this takes the sting out of the experience.

Second: seeking therapy.

I understand your fear that inappropriate therapy may actually worsen your situation. However, I would strongly urge you to try anyway. If you can find someone with whom you feel comfortable, in my experience the very fact of having someone with professional skills and ethics who will listen and respond to you with understanding, kindness and support is healing, no matter what the type of therapy may be called. If you approach therapy with the knowledge that you need not continue for one second more than is comfortable if you feel in your gut that the experience is harming you rather than healing you, then I feel it's worth trying. Certainly I would not still be here were it not for therapy with people of varying effectiveness over the years.  I once decided to walk away from an accredited 'trauma' therapist who I felt was harming me (only to have her taunt me over the phone, thus confirming my judgment of her). Whereas, at the moment I have a therapeutic relationship that is giving me the chance to do some of the best emotional work of my life. It's a lottery, but I wouldn't have benefited at all if I hadn't given it a go.

Finally, one thing that has helped me to deal with nightmares is to consider them as my mind trying to help me by working something out. This way of framing nightmares helps me not to feel so frightened when I wake up. I now feel that what happened while I was asleep to cause fear, anguish and sometimes wake me up screaming, is just my mind trying to help me by processing things that are troubling me. They are only thoughts and they are arising to alert me to issues - whether it's processing yesterday's distress or the feelings of abandonment that go back decades and still haunt me.

I hope my thoughts are helpful for you. Oh, and one more thing - I feel that I have a better chance of dreaming a dream rather than having a nightmare if I calm myself with deep slow breathing before I fall asleep. I may be wrong, but I do it anyway in the hope it helps.