Not Alone: Reduced Visibility; One Step at a Time

[Tee]

 

[Bach]

I offer love and support and admiration for your willingness to do the hard work towards healing. Many hugs to you 

[Snowdrop]

 

Thinking of you, Notalone.

[Not Alone]

Tee, Bach, Snowdrop: your support is felt and appreciated.

He believed me.

[Tee]

I'm glad it went well!

[woodsgnome]

Not Alone: "He believed me."  Thanks for sharing here -- I hope it feels good, validating, and well worth it ... good for you. 

[Snowdrop]

Well done for sharing the memory. I can imagine the relief and validation.

[Not Alone]

Tee, Woodsgnome, Snowdrop; thank you. Yes, T believing me was very validating.


I don't want to go to work today. I want to curl up into a ball and . . . that's all. I just want to curl up into a ball.

[Tee]

 :hug:I know that feeling. I give you a big hug of encouragement and sit with you if that helps holding your hands to let you know I'm there. 

[Not Alone]

Thank you, Tee. I was able to read your response before I left for work and it gave me comfort. Eight hours after I posted above, I was able to spend about 90 minutes under my weighted blanket. Still feeling on edge of panic.

[Snowdrop]

It will be ok, Notalone. Sending you big hugs.

[Tee]

     you It made through the day though!  Big hugs   try to relax. Have a good night handing you a cup of tea☕️ For you to sip on hope it helps. 

[Not Alone]

I am still doing therapy via Skype. There are some issues that I haven't talked about because it feels very distressing to talk about on Skype.

I have stuff--awful stuff-- that I need to tell my therapist. I need to tell him IN PERSON, not this internet garbage. If I knew it would end, that there would be a time when I will see him in person again, I could hold on. But I keep hoping, then no; hoping, then no. I can't keep doing this. It seems a minor thing. Why does it make me feel so crazy? I feel like I am going to be left alone with all this bad stuff, forever alone with it. I can't think clearly. Can't just say, "how do I make the best of this?" It makes me feel C  R  A  Z  Y. Why can't I just deal with this?

Before today's session I was feeling distressed because I was planning to talk about Skype therapy, how much longer, etc. The other times we talked about it, I went spiraling into an abyss. I was afraid that I was going to be a mess after session.

I have told T some really horrible memories via Skype. For some reason, there are some other traumas that I'm terrified of discussing on Skype. We talked about that today in session, trying to figure out why it is so distressful. Although not a complete answer, there were a couple of thoughts that seemed significant. I appreciate that my T is asking questions, curious, patient, caring. I also am grateful that he respects my fear and isn't pushing me to talk. Relieved that I'm not a basket case tonight.

[Bach]

 

[Tee]