Not Alone: Reduced Visibility; One Step at a Time

Started by Not Alone, February 03, 2020, 11:23:51 PM

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Not Alone

Quote from: Bach on July 10, 2020, 03:00:52 AM
"be gentle with yourself"
Thank you, Bach. I do need that reminder. In some situations I am more able to be gentle with myself than others. I need to process that more.

Quote from: Snowdrop on July 10, 2020, 05:16:26 AM
Having to get home in that time for therapy sounds extra stressful. I know that if it was me, various parts would be getting agitated on the journey home, and might not settle before therapy.
Definitely. All the Parts who are around are very anxious about getting home in time. When I connect with T I have just walked in the door and my mind is racing with work and the commute home. It is hard to think and to make the shift to dealing with my issues.

Thank you for sharing that you have lowered your work schedule and that you have found that healing.

Not Alone

I talked to my husband about not working on Thursdays. He was okay with that. I sent an email to work. Hopefully there won't be any problems. I don't anticipate any. I feel a weight lifted.


sanmagic7


Hope67


Not Alone

Tee, San, & Hope, thank you. Hugs to you too.  :grouphug:

A lot of internal shakiness tonight. That's not unusual for me, but really strong tonight. Many of the Littles are feeling things and trying to process. Long time negative beliefs about myself are being challenged, which is good, but still disruptive. 

sanmagic7

yeah, that stuff is disruptive, even disturbing at times.  sending a hug filled w/ love and patience as this stuff gets processed. :hug:




Not Alone

San, Bach, Snowdrop, Hope: I appreciate your care.  :grouphug:


I sat staring at this screen for awhile, trying to figure out how to summarize what has been going on with me. I have lots of Littles who need care and need to be heard. For many that process has at least begun. I still have some issues that I feel that need to be addressed in face to face therapy. At present my therapy is via internet. I'm actually surprised at the number of sensitive issues and dark memories that I have told my T via internet.

I have times that are very difficult. Even tonight, one of my Parts spent a long time, lying frozen, on the bed, jumping back and forth between now and childhood. Living with the memories is hard. Struggling to view the abuse through another lens, is slow, hard work. It has been quite awhile since I fell into deep, dark hopelessness. For that I am grateful.

I am no longer working on Thursdays. An extra day off and not having to rush home to get to my online therapy session on time, has eased some stress. I still have to remind myself that I don't have to rush through traffic to get to therapy on time. That I still feel that stress in my body tells me how incredible difficult that was for me.

I try not to look at all the stuff I have to deal with. It gets overwhelming. Baby steps.


sanmagic7

baby steps, indeed.  and, don't forget all that you've already accomplished - to not have gone into that dark place for a while counts for a lot.  love and hugs, my dear. :hug:

marta1234

 :hug: sending you a gentle hug notalone and lots of support  :hug: you've done so much, just like San said :)

Not Alone

#283
Quote from: sanmagic7 on September 03, 2020, 04:06:31 AM
to not have gone into that dark place for a while counts for a lot.
For sure. Thanks, San.  :hug:
Marta, thank you for your support.  :hug: for you.

Trigger Warning (dental)

I went to the dentist today. Last time I went was six years ago. Overall, somewhat distressing. There were two moments when the panic erupted within. (I started writing about those, but am being stopped from writing details.) I used my grounding and visualizing safe places. It was distressing, but could have been much worse. The staff were kind, which helped. I was able to go out for breakfast with my son afterward, and not just go home and curl up into a ball.


Snowdrop

Well done, Notalone :applause:. I hear you when you say it was distressing, but you went, and you got through it. I'm so glad the staff were kind, and your grounding and safe places helped.

I'm also glad that you've not gone into that deep, dark place for quite a while. That's a big deal.
:grouphug: