Not Alone: Reduced Visibility; One Step at a Time

[Bach]

Here to let you know I've read and offer hugs  It's a really hard time right now, really scary. It will get better. I don't know when. Sending you love and good wishes for peace and cope. 

[owl25]

This sounds so very, very tough. It's not hopeless, but I know how overwhelming and massive hopelessness can get. I wish I knew what to say to make this easier. 

[Three Roses]

Things are certainly feeling overwhelming. But I trust you, and all your parts, to be able to say what they absolutely need to say when they need to say it. I'm in your corner. Here's a gigantic, safe  for you if you want one.

[woodsgnome]

While it can never be truly the same, my heart shares sorrow for what you're feeling, especially the hopeless vibe. Only thing I can say is I've also found that hopeless end feeling more times than I can remember. Yet here I am, which I find surprising, all things considered.

Take great care, friend. I hope this  will somehow perk you up. There's many more  where that came from. May you just fall into them as our gift for the precious person you (including Hope) are.

[Snowdrop]

It doesn't sound stupid and minor at all, Notalone. Things at the moment are objectively tough, messy and overwhelming. I hear how hard it is, for you, Hope, Jo and Parts.

I know it feels like forever, but it's not. This will end, and in the meantime, T is trying to keep you physically safe. I hear that getting this news is really tough.

I wonder if it might be possible to communicate what you've written to T? I think he needs to know about the Part who feels that way about Hope. Hope totally deserves her doll, stickers and every kindness.

You're not alone. Here with you, walking beside you. Let's take it one step at a time, and if you find yourself stumbling, I'll be there to support and catch you, as are all the others. You're not alone.

Sending you lots of love and big, big hugs, dear friend.

[Not Alone]

Trigger Warning





I need to kill Hope (and probably Jo and others) without killing Mom-Person. Does anyone know how to do that? If you do, please tell me. Please, please help me. I don't know how to do it and keep Mom-Person alive. Please help.

[Snowdrop]

I'm sorry you're going through such a tough time. I know it's hard. I don't know what to say that will help you feel better, but please know that I care.

Notalone, I know it's hard. Would it help if I put a soft blanket round your shoulders? Can I bring you a cup of tea? I'll sit with you, if that helps, and offer hugs.

[sanmagic7]

my dear notalone, and all parts of you,

i can only say my heart swells with compassion for all you are going through.  this is the toughest time in history i've ever witnessed, and nothing about our feelings, despair, hopelessness is stupid or invalid.  this crisis hits us at so many levels, it can feel devastating.  i know hope has been waiting a long time to tell your T her story, and for someone young, time doesn't have the same meaning at all.  2 days, let alone 2 weeks can seem like forever.

when my d was young, there was a half-hour show that we watched called 'fraggle rock'.  she couldn't understand the concept of 'your father will be home in an hour' because she didn't know what that meant.  when i told her he would be home in 2 fraggle rocks, her eyes lit up.  she knew the length of one show, knew that it ended in a certain amount of time, and then the idea of 2 fraggle rocks made sense - she knew she could wait that long and it wasn't forever.

notalone, is there any sort of time frame you can find for hope to make this all seem less hopeless?  less eternal?  something you can count down, maybe make a chart for?  just some thoughts that came to mind.  like when trapped people make marks on the wall each sunset or so to give them a sense of time where they have none. 

to hope and all other parts, i'm sorry, but i can't help with killing.  perhaps some parts will fade away when they're not needed anymore. that's happened to me just lately, but differently because it involved my oldest daughter.  she wasn't who i believed she was, and the part of her that was innocent sprouted angel wings and flew away to a peaceful place.  the other part of her lives somewhere else, but not within me anymore. i don't know if that makes sense, but it was a relief for me.  i hope you can find some relief, too.

sending love and hugs to you all.  we're here with you. 

[owl25]

Instead of killing parts, can they maybe just go to sleep for a while, until you can see T in person? Or maybe just go to sleep until you can talk to T again and tell him what's been happening, and have him help with this?

[Bach]

Hi Part I don't know how to kill parts but sometimes I can make them go away by making up a little story about someplace nice they could be with someone they know is safe.  Then they won't bother me for a while.  If I don't have a story and I need them to leave me alone sometimes I can think about an interesting word to see what other words or sounds are in it, or see what it spells backwards and they leave me alone because they don't know how to play with words.

[Not Alone]

I would like to respond to each of you, but I'm just not able to right now. Please know that your suggestions, compassion, and hugs are very meaningful to me. I don't feel completely alone and that is a very big deal.

The world is still spinning and the waves are high. I took a second xanax because it is all too much. I've spent a great deal of the day feeling frozen. I try to move, but it takes a long time before I'm able to get up to do a small task. Then back to frozen.

[sanmagic7]

sending a warm blanket your way  l&h

[Snowdrop]

Thinking of you, Notalone.

[Jazzy]

Notalone, I don't know what to say. I read your last few entries and I am sitting here with tears going down my face. I know it feels hopeless, but remember that tomorrow never comes. That is because, every day, there is a new tomorrow. One day that tomorrow will be today, and you will feel better. I promise. 

[Three Roses]