Not Alone: Reduced Visibility; One Step at a Time

[Tee]

  I'm here with you notalone.  I've really enjoyed the great English baking show.  It's funny and looks like fun too.  I usually watch that or zombies depending on my mood. 🤷‍♀️

Netflix is a good way to zone out and try to escape reality for a little while. It helps me make it through rough days.

Here with you always big hug of support.

[Not Alone]

Snowdrop, thank you for the tea. I'm an occasional tea drinker. I made myself a cup of tea today, thinking of your kindness.
San & Tee, thank you for your comments about Netflix. It helped to ease my guilt and to understand that I'm using it as a coping mechanism. I like the English baking show too, but have been watching biographies lately. People are interesting.

Today when I woke up I was feeling down. I wrote down the present day stresses and losses that I am experiencing. There are actually quite a few and some significant losses. That's not even including my childhood trauma and cptsd.

My anxiety was getting high this afternoon. I did one of the visualizations from YouTube that I use. I haven't done one of those for awhile. There was a time when I used the visualization/meditation almost every day. My anxiety seems higher lately, so maybe I should make use of those more often. It did help me today. Then the thing that I was anxious about went okay and I was able to let go of the part that was upsetting to me.

It feels like forever since I connected to my Little Parts, although I read a story to them on Thursday. That feels so long ago. One of the real young parts colored a picture. There was something about that, but I don't remember.

[Tee]

 

[Not Alone]

  to you, Tee.

Still feeling down, tired, lost.

[Snowdrop]

I find it harder to connect to parts when there present day stresses and strains. I have far less capacity. I relate to what you say.

I'm glad the thing you were anxious about went ok. I hope you can be gentle with yourself.

[sanmagic7]

dear notalone, i, too, find myself surprised when i list anything that's going on in my life, what i'm dealing with.  it's always way more than what's been in my mind, and seeing it in black and white makes it more difficult to just push it aside or pretend it's not that big a deal.  we've been thru so much, continue to deal with so much, it's an accomplishment of the best kind, and a testament to our ongoing strength, determination, and perseverance. 

the weight of day-to-day management, to my mind, is difficult to drag along with us as we make it from day to day.  i find myself tired, dragging, or exhausted when one more thing is added to my day.  hang in there, sweetie.  sending love and a hug full of brightness and warmth

[Tee]

  I'm here with you notalone you are not lost.  I'm sorry you're down and tired though.  But I'll find you to give you an encouraging hug always, never lost never alone.

[Not Alone]

Snowdrop, San, Tee; your words and care are very meaningful to me. 

I am doing better right now.

[Tee]

  I'm glad your doing better 

[Snowdrop]

Glad to hear it.

[Not Alone]

TW     (no details)


New memory. Told T today. He believed me. What they did was so dehumanizing, so degrading. I'm holding onto care from core group of friends and onto Jesus.

Up until today, my art therapy pictures of black represented my shame. Today I felt compelled to scribble black and it represented their (abusers') evil.

[Snowdrop]

I am so, so sorry you went through this. It makes me want to wrap you up in a soft blanket of safety.

Well done for telling T. I'm glad he believed you, and that you're being supported by your friends and Jesus. As I read your post, I saw angels standing by you, keeping you protected and safe.

Sending you much love, support and care.

[Tee]

  glad you were able to get a witness and we're believed.  Sorry that you got new memories they are hard for me to deal with so I imagine they would be hard for you as well.  Sending a big hug of support to let you know I believe you as well and to remind you you are not your abuse and it wasn't your fault. 

[Bach]

Popping in to give you a    and let you know I'm still here. 

[Hope67]

Hi Notalone,
I am also sending you a very gentle and heartfelt hug    I am glad you were able to share more with your T, and that he believed you.  I am glad you are being supported by your friends and by Jesus. 
Hope