Ritual Abuse, DID & Self-Harm (TW)

[RA-Survivor]

I was self-harming myself. I was coping the pain my entire life that is beyond normal human capacity, creating my complex DID system with sub-rooms, sub-layers, doors and hallways, where countless of my little ones, the inside self-state alters dwell. I was feeling fine to let myself be abused again, just to normalize the pain, yet it was harmful.

I have only started to know that there were dissociative identities within me, when there were flashbacks and communication within, since July 2017. I had communication between my fragmented parts through letters writing, headspace insiders and visualizing the hubs within me, which they reside. I am still finding it very hard to accept that my self is being split into multiple identities, leading to selflessness.

[goblinchild]

I know this topic is very old, but I saw there were no replies and wanted to say I have DID too, so you're not alone.