Completely disabled after years of RA flashbacks

RA-Survivor · February 27, 2020, 03:30:49 PM

I was hospitalized involuntarily to the psychiatric ward back in February to March 2017, due to acute suicidal crisis and suicide plan. Many times I have needed hospitalization, but I have resisted to go and stayed at home instead, as I felt safer in a more controlled environment. It really depends. Hospital has also been a stabilization location, but then I was afraid of their medication side effects and lack of choice to self-discharge.

In February 2018 I have started on disability pension, being full-time disabled, chronically home bound, mentally disabled, with lack of relationships and friendships, due to deep seated mistrust and too intellectually disabled to attend university to finish up my masters. At home, I am currently being taken care by my caregiver, as I cannot do anything in my most traumatized position daily, crying, cuddling myself and curling up. Oftentimes I have coma-like sleeps, couldn't do the most basic stuff, such as washing, bathing, cooking and driving. I have been feeling useless and aimless in life.

Kizzie · February 27, 2020, 06:22:12 PM

Are you under any regular treatment at the moment RA?

RA-Survivor · February 28, 2020, 03:43:59 AM

Quote from: Kizzie on February 27, 2020, 06:22:12 PM
Are you under any regular treatment at the moment RA?

I'm still trying to find a T and doctor but it's hard, for those who specialise in both DID and complex PTSD

sj · February 28, 2020, 03:57:10 AM

Hi RA-Survivor

So sorry to read of your experiences and situation, but also very admiring of your clarity and strength to survive and to reach out.

I really hope you can find a T that is a good fit for you.

Just in case this is helpful - my current T does not specialise in CPTSD, yet has a very open-minded, caring, flexible and adaptive approach and they are a really good fit for me. I am so grateful for their ongoing support.

I have also had experience in searching out Ts who I felt would be good because of their specialisations, but found I did not gel well with them.

It can definitely be a bit tricky finding the right person, but definitely important that you feel the fit works for you.

All the best and take care
sj