Hello... Hoping for connection

[dreamriver]

Hi there everyone. I joined this board a few weeks ago and have posted a little bit on other threads, but figured it was time I officially say hi. 

I was diagnosed with C-PTSD last winter - to much relief finally at 31 years old, and too many years sensing something not quite right with my mental health; but as I'm sure many of you know all too well, it's been a rollercoaster and extremely painful even though it's brought amazing perspective into my life and helped me face the truth and find healing...

I'm coming to terms with family emotional abuse, negligence, and some recovered memories of physical/sexual abuse. I'm in the process of both opening up about all of it with family and painfully re-negotiating boundaries with them after I've been met with an overwhelming wave response of apathy, minimization, and denial... And even losing close relationships with some of them that I thought truly deeply cared about me.

I'm learning to realize better that I experience flashbacks almost all the time when I only ever thought I was just emotionally sensitive and flawed (and shamed/punished for it as a child, shame continues today...)

Anyways, it's been extremely lonely. Few to no friends to talk about it with, loss of closeness with family (or maybe the illusion of closeness has finally been shattered) and a partner who is wonderful but not perfect at understanding and does the best he can...

My hope is to connect and not feel so alone.... And maybe I can do the same in return for at least some of you  Looking forward to participating and sharing and being in the presence of people who will better understand all this, and meeting all of you. Thank you in advance... 

[marta1234]

Hello Dreamriver, welcome to our community.
Sending you lots of support and hugs   As you said, this is a safe place to share and reach out. I've been really thankful for this forum and these people, for their support and their information. Personally, the journal's and every post help me understand my situation better, and just comfort me.

Looking forward to hearing more, 

[Not Alone]

Welcome. 

[Kizzie]

Hi and a very warm welcome to OOTS DreamRiver, glad you found your way here! 

I'm sorry that opening up about what happened to you has meant the loss of those you thought cared about you.  It's not uncommon so please know you are not alone in this. The majority of us struggle with this so you are safe and will be heard and supported if/when you want to post about this more. 

[Snowdrop]

Hello, Dreamriver, and welcome!

[dreamriver]

Thanks everyone Looking forward to being a part of this support forum. Even just getting these gentle welcome messages and reading through what others have shared makes me feel loads better  Pleased to meet all of you!