Not sure if I belong here

[lokasenna]

I think I may've reacted too strongly. Sorry Kizzie for directing that at you. Like Bach said, I'm used to being disbelieved and dismissed, so there's a strong urge to act self-protectively. I don't want to write off a place where that might not happen before even giving it much of a chance though. Thanks everyone for the welcome.

[Three Roses]

plus the trauma is not meant to abuse/neglect the self/spirit even though clearly it is frightening, painful, leads to feelings of powerlessness, etc. 

One incident of medical trauma was definitely done to me with no regard for the physical pain or emotional effect it had on me. He hurt me and told me not to cry while my mother sat and watched. The procedure he performed was done without anesthetic. I was around 8 to 10 years old. This was not the only negative experience I had with this doctor as he was my pediatrician through my childhood.

And, I'm sure if you could ask them, most parents of abused children would tell you they did what they did in order to guide and discipline their kids.

It doesn't matter whether we are harmed by someone intending to do good or by someone actively trying to inflict pain on us. Our diagnosis comes not from the intention of the abuse but in our own response to it in body, mind and emotions.

lokasenna, you're welcome here and I look forward to hearing more from you.

[juliaguarde]

I'm just looking for a place free of judgement...

Welcome and thank you Lokasenna. I too, am looking for a place free of judgement.  For myself, I'm still uncertain if any place would truly be. I appreciate your courage in speaking up. You are not alone.
To everyone who replied, thank you as well.  It's becoming more and more clear to me that judgment is the last thing I'll find at OOTS. 
Warm regards to all my fellow travelers