Pandemic triggering huge amounts of anger at friends

[Alice-In-Wonderland]

I have friends who are not taking this pandemic seriously and it is triggering huge amounts of anger in me. I am worried that I will lose some friends entirely over this. It is that 'LISTEN TO ME!!' scream in my head. I know that my anger at those who are putting others at risk is valid but I also feel within myself that it is triggering an HUGE emotional response that I am barely able to control. Anyone else dealing with rage because of this situation?

[Not Alone]

I have had other situations where, "DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!" was screaming in my head. My spoken words of warning were ignored. It made me feel crazy, triggering not being believed that I was in danger as a child.

[sanmagic7]

definitely!  not necessarily at friends, tho - i've eliminated most of them, and the rest aren't around.  however, i think there's plenty to be enraged about.  you're not the only one.  keep safe, even if others aren't, ok?  we're together on this.  love and hugs, alice (my favorite book since i was a kid!  i always loved her spunk)

[Alice-In-Wonderland]

Thanks for being here. That in itself is a comfort. Knowing there are other people that 'get it'. For me the strongest emotion triggered is always rage. It is really the only emotion my psyche will allow.  I know there is grief, sadness, shame, loneliness beneath the rage but they are heavily 'vaulted'.

For the most part this pandemic isolation is a positive for me because I don't have to turn down any social invitations! 

[sanmagic7]

glad to see you finding a silver lining in all this, alice!     love and hugs

[dreamriver]

Same here, Alice. But with DH not just friends. I'm pretty isolated in my community and he's better at making friends than me, and that's been hard.

Something about quarantine and covid-19 made him frantically social instead of socially distant as he should be. He's a hopeless extrovert, and he's pushed boundaries a couple times (well, I think his neighbor buddies don't care as much about all this and are kinda peer pressuring him), but he definitely knows better and just isn't practicing what he preaches!

Riding around on ATVs with them... and not thinking and inviting them into our home for more than a couple hours... all without masks, no social distancing...meanwhile I'm taking all this seriously and bearing horrible isolation, and it's almost like he's flaunting it in my face (until I unleash my anger that is).

It's been pretty hard and triggering at some times, especially when I feel like the odd one out and I'm trying to stand up for myself/what is right. That's a huge EF trigger for me. And some of that emotion comes up as rage, rage, rage!

Anyways, I totally get it and you're not alone