No Positive Feelings

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Laynelove

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No Positive Feelings
« on: November 13, 2015, 03:11:56 AM »
I struggle to feel things like excitement, joy and playfulness.

Is it possible to learn to feel these feelings again? I have a very flat personality

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Dyess

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Re: No Positive Feelings
« Reply #1 on: November 13, 2015, 08:16:55 AM »
What was your personality like before? I think for me I have to push myself outside my comfort zone to enjoy something. Like today a friend wanted to go out and eat. I didn't want to go out, be around people mid day, or have to look presentable, but I did. And the anticipation was worse than the event, as it usually is with me. So yes, I think we can feel that again but it will take some work to get our of comfort zones and to remember things that used to bring us joy and try to do the easiest ones first and work yourself up to some larger. What do you think?

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no_more_fear

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Re: No Positive Feelings
« Reply #2 on: November 13, 2015, 06:09:43 PM »
I'd love to know if it's possible to feel these things again. Mostly what I feel, and I think this is common for us, is anger and frustration. I can access those feelings no problem, but the rest? Nope.  :doh: Well, very seldomly anyway.

I think we have to practise feeling good. Because of our pasts we're so used to feeling bad and find it incredably hard to feel anything but negative emotion. With me it's a fear that something bad will happen if I let my guard down and relax. I bought the first-aid kit from the spartianlifecoach and use that mostly for my recovery and he says that the more you practise feeling good, the more you will feel good.

What I do these days is read humourous books, even though I rarely have any emotional engagement with them and watch things like stand-up comedy, even though I rarely laugh  :bigwink: I love watching funny cat videos but what often happens with them is theres some kind of dramatic moment, like a cat jumping out of the shadows. That kind of thing increases my heart rate, so I stick with fairly sedate things.

Another thing to do is focus on goals. I write, so I've started a novel. Every day that I manage to write a chapter or something I feel really good. Make yourself do the things that will lead to you accomplishing goals.

What was said by Trace, what were you like before, that's impossible for me because I've suppressed positive emotion my whole life, so there is no before.

Anyway, I think with practise we can start to feel these things. Start engaging in activities, like watching stand-up comedy, that might provoke it.

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Dyess

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Re: No Positive Feelings
« Reply #3 on: November 13, 2015, 07:09:16 PM »
For me I know there were happier times. Love was good, work was good, family was healthy and happy, life was good. So it looks like those are the key items for me to be happy. Love is good, no job :(, dad's gone. So those are some things I need to get in order to try to find that happiness again. And I doubt it will be that same euphoric happiness but something close. Something else we have to work on to make it happen :) like we need something else. I too have a problem relaxing but that was problem before the walls fell in on me.

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steamy

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Re: No Positive Feelings
« Reply #4 on: January 16, 2016, 06:41:28 PM »
I struggle to feel things like excitement, joy and playfulness.

Is it possible to learn to feel these feelings again? I have a very flat personality

This is me too, like I have no joy for life, I recognized it 20 years ago, the only place I have ever found it is when I have been travelling around the world and found myself seeing the world as a 5 year old again.

 
a friend wanted to go out and eat. I didn't want to go out, be around people mid day, or have to look presentable, but I did. And the anticipation was worse than the event, as it usually is with me.

I also find this, and have noticed it with my family members, people who at the last minute bail out of social events, as far as I can see it comes down to fear, that we will be judged or perhaps let down, the inner critic is there on our shoulder telling us how bad its all going to be.

The critic starts when we wake up, last night I got a rejection letter for a job which I was eminently qualified for, and in my small field best experienced in, this morning that was my first thought, I  told myself "they didn't chose you, your personality sucks, you're not good enough" it sets us up for the day, so it is all about silencing that inner voice. Joy of life can't be fabricated just by walking around smiling, soon your inner critic will wear you down and make you feel like a fraud.  Its a long road