today is the celebration of the birth of the u.s. with the state this country is in right now, i honestly don't feel very much like celebrating. my heart is heavy - it feels so much like going back to the unrest and turbulence that started the civil war, the women's movement, the vietnam demonstrations, the civil rights movement. i remember what it was like in the midst of most of these. i can only hope and pray for healing, but am not in a party mood.