EF - Grounding self talk - progress

[brightlight]

I had yet another intense long EF flashback and couldn't sleep last night. I was crying and I was getting angry with all emotions and memories of injustice at work and the memories of where these feelings come from. I was getting frustrated this is constantly going round and round my head. I started to try and ground myself by saying 'I am having an emotional flashback, I am safe, I am in my bed, ****** and ****** are with me (my furries) This calmed me down and it seemed to shift something. 

I can't believe the shift it made in my brain. It felt like the emotions went and felt like an empty space, a peaceful space. My feelings were not intense and all over the place as they had been for 10 months. If I felt the feelings coming back a bit I kept repeating it. I began to remember with clarity how things took place in work and the adequate response I said to my boss out loud.

The EF have still come back a bit bit today but very mildly and I have grounded myself by telling myself I am having an EF, where I am, I am safe and who I am with. I have some peace with this finally!! I felt relaxed today and even smiling a bit when I was outside (Anxiety/hypervigilance can make being relaxed outside difficult for me too) I am going to write down the clarity of events I remember and why this whole scenario has triggered me. Not a nice time but at least if anything I can release these buried emotions after years.

However I do feel I want to tell the bully exactly what she did wrong and that this was harassment. So there is still anger around her vindication. Also how she knew what she was doing was wrong but felt able to do it. Still anger here too. I need to work on grounding on this.

This shift for me made me realise how inner self talk and grounding taps into your subconscious in a powerful and healing way.

This also made me realise how the psyche is damaged during psychological abuse (I knew my psychological abuse was not right and not true (as a teenager)) but it goes into your subconscious without you being able to control it and this is what causes the serious damage to the developing brain.

I mainly just wanted to record this for me but I welcome any comments too.   

[Blueberry]

  for progress!

[Not Alone]

Growth. 

[Three Roses]