Activity 1, Self-help : Write about how they put the burden on you, the child.

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Yeah, same here. I'm trying to make them see that it's okay to feel angry or grumpy or resentful, and that you're entitled to feel those things even in situations where those feelings are "unhelpful". Children learn gratitude if parents model it for them, so the thing to do is to actually go and thank the child for things it has done, and to express how happy it makes us that they're here. Same goes for things like respect. It's just ridiculous when you see parents who keep on mocking their child, dismissing her concerns, belittling her, treating her with rudeness - but woe betide the child if she mirrors what she sees her parents do! Don't those people think?!!  :pissed:  Bee, your mother was so profoundly unfair to you, it's staggering.



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I have never asked for my children to be grateful, but i have expressed gratitude to them, my husband and G-d. and our children regularly thank my husband and i for things.


I felt very alone growing up. I felt like everything I needed I had to give myself.
I needed comfort, so I made up rituals to comfort myself.
I needed emotional support, so I told myself they are invalid emotions to have, so I buried those needs, in order live with a rule that excuses my caretaker's neglect. 
I needed love, but I would only get attention, and only if my marks were great.
I could not have my own thoughts or opinions, so I adopted their belief system and became a pious footsoldier of their regime.

It was very emotionally damaging.