Not the friend I want

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Gromit

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Not the friend I want
« on: April 21, 2020, 05:41:16 PM »
I have a Facebook page for my business and someone from my past has liked pictures on there occasionally  over the past few years. Yesterday he messaged me. It is my ex boyfriendís brother. He was in the army and when I was in a relationship with his brother he was hardly at home, posted away, then discharged and married someone far away. I donít remember many conversations, if any, with him. Now he has requested to be friends. I did respond to the message, found out his dad had died, that kind of stuff. I liked his parents, they did treat me better than mine.

Not sure what to do about this, apart from ignore it.

But it brings me to friends in general, and my lack of them. I have tried reaching out to a few people. The last time, I revealed something about my DDís current condition and heard nothing, no response. (Not the first time this has happened, but I expected more somehow). No one has reached out to me, not family, not friends. It got to me today. Then, my DD was upset and by the very same thing, no one reaches out to her, and she is upset that it is always up to her to make the effort.

Obviously, with my DD it is not CPTSD related, but me? Whilst I am used to my own company, and happier alone at times, I am feeling very isolated.

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Hope67

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Re: Not the friend I want
« Reply #1 on: April 21, 2020, 06:05:29 PM »
Hi Gromit,
What you wrote really touched me emotionally - I just wanted to share that, and say that I would like to send you a supportive hug (if that's ok)  :hug:  From my own experience, I've found that whenever I've shared something that is perhaps difficult for others to 'digest' then they don't necessarily reply for ages, but when people have commented on why that is, it's because they don't always know what to say, or how to respond.  So maybe that could be part of why you didn't get a reply.  I don't know.

Wishing you the best with this.

Hope  :)

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Gromit

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Re: Not the friend I want
« Reply #2 on: April 22, 2020, 06:33:42 AM »
Hi Gromit,
What you wrote really touched me emotionally - I just wanted to share that, and say that I would like to send you a supportive hug (if that's ok)  :hug:  From my own experience, I've found that whenever I've shared something that is perhaps difficult for others to 'digest' then they don't necessarily reply for ages, but when people have commented on why that is, it's because they don't always know what to say, or how to respond.
Hope  :)

Thanks Hope, I do understand that, and, yes, what happened to my DD is hard to digest. But the silence came from people who are either experienced in similar or people who have professional experience in health and therapy. Which is why I expected more than silence. A sympathetic acknowledgment just like you did above, would have been validating.
Thank you,
G