Dissociated on a date

[dollyvee]

I've been much more cautious with dating lately and have had some good experiences recently with setting boundaries. 

Went on a date with someone last night and it seemed good - he's very open, warm and seemingly geniune. At the beginning of the date we started to click and something in me shut down. We continued the date and it was easy - I could ramble on about Covid and all the freakish things happening right now. Although, I did feel a bit self conscious about it. I don't know if it was the cold (we were distanced and outside) but all through the date, I had problems getting my thoughts together. This has happened in the past where I'm slow to speak but not for a while. I'm guessing this is dissociation.

Was really upset with myself this morning that I felt like I've wrecked something with someone and that I was too cold, or odd or strange. Or that because I wasn't open, he thinks I just want a fling. This is a really strong feeling. He said it was fun and we made tentative plans for next week. Haven't heard from him and don't want to reach out today but maybe tomorrow I will. Would like him to text first. Just trying to unpack these feelings a bit. I guess it's triggered something.