At a Crossroads with Nd

Started by Phoebes, May 14, 2020, 02:47:18 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

Phoebes

All the parents... :stars: :stars:

Nd was always the "good" one, I thought. He's been distancing and clinging to Nsm and her vile assessments of me and my sibling. I honestly can't believe he would actually believe the things she says about me- that I don't love him and don't care. But he does believe her.

So for MD, she tried to hoover me (extremely unusual) with a gift in the mail with a strange, passive-aggressive note attached. Very strange. I'm used to not responding to that kind of stuff now so I didn't respond. She is blocked.

Now, Nsm is not a mother, but dad has always called or texted and "reminded" us to send her a card or call and wish her HMD.  ??? In the past, I've given in and done so to make him happy, but it felt slimy because I didn't mean it. The last several years I just drop it and I told them I don't believe in hallmark holidays. Last year they said "Can you believe som people actually think MD is a hallmark holiday??" I said, "Yeah, ME!"

So now this year, Nd posted a picture of Nsm with flowers and the cat, and said how their new "daughter" sent her these flowers for MD. Well, the new "daughter" is a crazy tale i won't go into, but is basically the only family member on her side that was estranged 10 years but now the only one who will speak to her. Not a healthy story..

What is it with these people who marry adult childrens' divorced dad and think these grown adults owe it to them to acknowledge them as their mother? Whatever, but it just bothers me my dad expects it too. I feel he has slipped away and has proven himself only to choose and defend abusive others. He has never stood up for or defended my sibling and me, leaving us to feel we simply don't matter.