Deep Blue: Finding hope

[Not Alone]

Another thought, based on what you have shared in the past, I'm wondering if you had heard that statement from you massage therapist several months ago, if your state of dissociation would have been longer than 2 1/2 days? I have seen a lot of growth in you in your journey.

[Deep Blue]

San,
Thanks for the hugs.  Yes grounding... lots of it.

Blueberry, thanks for pointing out that my recovery from dissociating was shorter this time.  Honestly it helps and no way a trigger like that would have left me after 2 days before. 

Not alone,
You pointing out the growth feels good.  Thanks   
————————————————-
I'm still a bit fuzzy.  I'm not sure if it's vertigo or that I'm still a little dissociated.

I'm still doing ok considering. 

I'm feeling more positive and I know that dissociation happens sometimes.  And that is ok! My brain is just trying to protect me.  Now I'm just working to tell my brain that it's ok.  I'm safe now and the fight or flight doesn't need to kick in all the time now. 

So yeah.. hopefully with enough mindfulness and grounding I'll feel back to normal again soon. ❤️

[sanmagic7]

it's so good to hear you say you're feeling more positive.  what a difference from a couple months ago!     great work you've been doing.     love and hugs 

[Snowdrop]

I would have felt hugely triggered in the situation you describe. I think you've handled it well, and I'm so glad you can see the progress you're making.

[Deep Blue]

Had an appointment with the psychiatrist today. 

I told her about the episode of dissociation last week.  She said, that even though I probably don't want to hear it, she thinks there will be more of that to come.  She said I've spend so much time with anxiety... now my mind is not jumping to a panic attack like it used to.  It has to have some coping strategy to fall back on.

She was right, I did not want to hear that.  It makes me worried for the future.

On the other hand, things are still going well for me.  The what if's are still positive.

What if my trauma isn't actually bigger than me?
What if I can move past the trauma and be less effected by it?
What if I can break this up and down roller coaster I've been on for so long?

So it's positive and I am grateful to have hope again.  Hope beats anxiety almost every time 💙

[Three Roses]

 

[sanmagic7]

 

i love how our brains take care of us.  love and hugs

[Deep Blue]

Hi all!
Things are still going pretty well with me.  I have gotten out and exercised every day this week so that makes me very happy.

I see my T again on Monday but have been feeling very stable in general. I went on a walk with a friend this week and she said I seem so much more myself.  Feels good to hear that

[Not Alone]

 

[Snowdrop]

Delighted to hear this, Deep Blue.

[Three Roses]

That's awesome! 

[Hope67]

Dear Deep Blue,

  This is wonderful to hear.   
Hope 

[Deep Blue]

Hello all!
A productive week for me.  I got some exercise and hit my step goal every day!

I've been collecting food for a local charity.  Kids in my school district on free/reduced lunch are hurting right now.  I collected about 6 boxes of items for them.  Took them off to the food drive donation center today.  I hope they get more donations cuz it looked like there was not that many people there yet. 

So yeah, feeling good here! 💙

[Three Roses]

💙 💙 💙 💙

[Deep Blue]

More good news from me!  We got a kitten! We have named him Dodger. 

He's a black and white (cow cat) American shorthair. He also is polydactyl.  So he has some extra toes.

Him and my son seem to be enjoying themselves.

💙