living with my abuser because i have no other option

[haleygh]

im new to this forum, a newly diagnosed with cptsd. i live with my abuser and can never come out of my room because he makes me feel on edge every second of everyday. hes my step grandfather and he sexually abused all the way till i was 15. life is crippling because i feel like cant move at all. hes married to my grandmother and has been in my life since i was born. i also have bipolar/ocd mother who grew up verbally abusing me over little things. my dad has never been stable hes recovering alcoholic of 20 plus years. my therapist recommended this forum for me and im going to start posting and become active. i think its gonna become my safe place when i need it most. my grandmother refuses to believe me when i tell her he did it she in denial about. she doesnt even know ive been diagnosed because if i tell her she will think its all made up. she doesnt understand why i cant talk to her about it. but she deosnt listen. she sleeps in the same bed with him at night and doesnt care. its out of sight out of mind. please some one reply with their thoughts

[Three Roses]

Hello, welcome to the forum!


You said -

she doesnt understand why i cant talk to her about it. but she deosnt listen.

Maya Angelou once said, "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you," and as long as your story is not listened to and really heard, you will feel invalidated and minimized. So why should you talk to her, or anyone for that matter, who refuses to hear you?

I'm glad you have a therapist, especially one who recognizes the support that a forum like this one can give to those who are suffering. I hope to hear more from you.

[marta1234]

I am so sorry you have to go through with this. If I'm stepping over the line, then you can just skip this.
I personally would say if you can reach out to some friend or someone you trust when in this, maybe try that? I personally would say that having a good person by your side is very important right now, when you are faced with seeing your abuser everyday. To at least allow you to speak without fear to someone (your therapist could also be that).

In any case, this forum will always support you, whenever you feel like you need it. Sending a hug, if it's ok. 

[haleygh]

im new to how to use the forum so im still trying to figure out how to reply, but im tearing up bc ive never had anyone understand the seriousness of it all. if i ever need anyone i am forsure going to reach. thanks for the virtual hugs theyre very much felt. <3

[Kizzie]

It's really lonely not to have many to talk to about our trauma haleygh so I'm glad you're here and have a T.   

Maya Angelou once said, "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you,"

- great quote Three Roses shared   

You might also want to consider joining an online or face-to-face group for sexual abuse (SA) at some point. In addition to having the support of other SA survivors you may find they are aware of more SA specific resources than we have here.

[Snowdrop]

When I lived with my abuser, haleygh, I also used to avoid coming out of my room. I can relate to what you say. You're not alone.

[haleygh]

its good to hear someone has been through what im going through. but everyday ill get better with the help of the oots family and my therapist. i actually got some crystals to help with the vibes in my room so im hoping ill feel better until i can get out of here

[haleygh]

saw my therapist today and it was good its working and im so happpy

[Three Roses]

So happy for you! 

[marta1234]

  very happy for you!