Every negative emotion is an EF

[dreamriver]

Is every negative emotion an EF and I just need to accept and treat it that way?

Once an EF finds one way to get in and I block it off/work through it, it just finds another way (if that makes sense). Lately how they're creeping in is through depression. Before it was anxiety and/or other emotions, which some part of me doesn't want to associate with EFs. I don't know why, it must be built in denial that nothing is wrong with me, which I learned from FOO. (I learned throughout my entire childhood that I wasn't depressed when I actually was.... severely).

So the logical thing to do: head off all negative emotions. Right? I tell myself "this isn't an EF, I'm just feeling sort of sad about A, B, or C today and it has nothing to do with my past." I might briefly entertain the emotion. I don't do any flashbacks management/methods because I don't think I need them just yet. Then bam, before I know it, an EF already has me on my knees.

How do y'all handle it? Do you think this is a good approach? Hit the EF workbook at even the slightest whiff of negative thought processes? I thought maybe I can just have bad days without EF fears but maybe I can't and the work I must do is daily work, which really challenges my default denial mindset about all this.

Feeling very alone and isolated lately which is making the struggle at it's worst... quarantine, no friends, plus  experiencing major ostracism, abandonment, and neglect from FOO members right now (or I should say, I'm reexperiencing it all over again). It takes me straight back to my childhood in my mind on a regular basis, and I can't seem to shake it...especially depression, non-stop guilt, and shame that they're treating me this way.

TIA 

[Not Alone]

Is every negative emotion an EF and I just need to accept and treat it that way?

I can feel anger, sadness, etc. and not be in an EF. I don't think I can accurately describe the difference. I guess when I'm in an EF it feels like a tornado, falling, drowning, or feeling crazy. I think that feelings (sad, anger, fear, etc.) are part of being human.

Feeling alone and isolated is really painful. The quarantine has brought up childhood feelings for me too. My T pointed out that in some ways it is a re-enactment.

[dreamriver]

Thank you notalone 

I believe the same thing as you, and that's how I operate. Just don't know what to do when almost every negative emotion can sneak up on me and turn into a full-blown EF if I'm not careful... And I hate the pain of EF's. It's like I'm suddenly in a state of mind where the pain has no beginning or ending, like it's always been there, this is the way reality truly is (and when I'm happy it's a lie), and everything around me is wrong and I need to run away and escape (I left home when I was 16).

And yes... definitely reexperiencing some trauma right now. I'm sorry you are too. 

[dreamriver]

Whelp, looks like I'm back in an EF now... I feel like a deer must feel after it just outran a wolf. I want to hide in the bushes and pant wildly for a whole day until the fear passes... and just lay still.... but I always have too much to do to ever do that. So I instead I'm just set back and forced to work through it. But there was no wolf the whole time... I hate this.

It starts with just a tiny negative emotion or disagreement and the next thing I know I'm exploding out of control. Full of rage, now exhaustion and paralysis that wasn't worth it. All because I couldn't stop from being affected by/absorbing DH's moods, and I even knew it as it was happening, a part of me didn't want to stop (but I want to stop!). I kneejerk from being a conduit to a teslacoil throwing lightning all over the place. Why can't I just let it wash over me? Why cant I seperate myself from flaring up when I know exactly where it will take me....? Here?

I'm OK and no sympathy or worries needed, just frustrated by a mind that sabotages itself and then punishes itself with emotional pain... I have such a busy schedule that an EF can really throw a wrench in things. Seems they really can and do sneak in through every negative emotion... I'm too often fooled