living with my abuser because i have no other option

[haleygh]

i posted a general topic on the discussion. but i was sexually abused by my step grandfather til i was 16 all the way since i was a child. any one that can relate? i really other people who havebeen through what ive been through to talk to. im stuck in a house w my abuser bc his wife, my gradnmother doesnt believe me and i live evryday with im right down the hall and i cant go to my moms bc she just got married. so im stuck . thoughts? 

[mojay]

hi haleygh! I just joined the forum today and saw your post - yes, I can relate to living with your abuser(s) and feeling stuck in it because of life circumstances. I am currently in a similar situation and have been in and out of this situation for my whole life. I am so so sorry to hear that you're also in this position, it is so difficult. Every day is a struggle between knowing what happened is true, seeking validation from potential allies, and dealing with the triggers of living with an abuser and the triggers of not being believed.

Something that has helped me is focusing every day on reducing triggers. I spend a lot of time finding ways to make myself feel safe. Barricading my door, keeping food, water jugs and a microwave in my room so I don't have to leave my room as often. I use a white noise machine, earplugs and headphones to block out the sounds of people moving around the house because it can be triggering to be reminded who i am living with. I am lucky to have a great therapist whom I can trust and vent to, honestly I think the important part is just getting the words out and being validated. If you're unable to have a therapist then perhaps using this forum to dig deep and vent and explore what you're experiencing while receiving validation?

Thoughts on escaping the situation:

My first thought is talking to your mom about the situation, does she know what happened? I'd imagine that it would cause a lot of fear to consider moving in with another male step relation. However, it could also be a healing situation - even if it's temporary while you figure out alternatives.

My second thought is the possibility of applying for government housing to get out of the living situation. This can take weeks to be approved depending on your location and isn't always comfortable, but it might be a way to move out. I've found that people who are unwilling to have one live with them permanently are more willing to have one stay temporarily if there's a plan and timeline to move out.

My third thought is staying with a friend or finding a roommate to move in with, is that a possibility for you? Depending on your city and country, Craigslist will post sublet, short term and temporary living options - sometimes people are searching for a roommate.

Please let me know what you think. I'll be here to listen if you want to talk more about your situation in a reply to this. Wishing you all the best.