Hello!

[rainydiary]

Hello community,

I am grateful to have found this forum and to be learning more about CPTSD.  Each day I uncover more vocabulary that better defines my experiences.  Right now I am overwhelmed by it, but my journey over the past year or so has taught me I am on the right path.

In April 2019 I took a mindfulness class through my work.  I'd struggled for a long time and could not figure out why.  During this class, we went around responding to the prompt "share about a childhood memory."  Everyone in the group (save one other person) shared beautiful, happy memories.  I was last in the circle and began to realize I did not have happy memories to share.  When my turn came, I began to speak and instantly burst into huge tears. 

Shortly after this, I completed a yoga teacher training which honestly gave a great number of tools and has helped me get through my BIL dying by suicide, persistent difficulty with my PD in-laws, finally naming my childhood experiences as trauma, abuse, and neglect, a difficult patch in my marriage as I come out of the FOG (while my H stays in it), and ongoing challenges with COVID 19 and social justice. 

I've been participating in forums at the Out of the FOG site yet realized that wasn't about me but my codependency and trying to control my H's behavior and relationship to his family.  I'd been feeling stuck in my journey when I came across this site.  It better suits me and will give me the space to learn about and hopefully express myself along my journey. 

[Not Alone]

Welcome! 

[owl25]

Hello rainydiary, nice to meet you, and welcome 

[Jazzy]

Hi Ranydiary, welcome! I'm sorry to hear that you have no good memories as a child. That is very sad, but it sounds like you're on a good path of healing. I hope you find what you're looking for here. There are lots of great people. All the best!

[rainydiary]

Thank you all for the welcome 

[Snookiebookie2]

Welcome 

[Three Roses]

Glad you found us! Thanks for joining.

[Snowdrop]

Something similar to your "share a childhood memory" prompt happened to me too. You are welcome here, RainyDiary.