Hello!

[Elemey]

Hi everyone , I'm new.. and a bit confused, scared, hopeful? Mixed?
I'm 26 years old and after an episode of nearly committing suicide, going to the hospital, going to a psych ward.. I was diagnosed with C-PTSD. The psychiatrist in there was a really brilliantly kind man, and I was terrified I had BPD, schizophrenia, I was afraid of having anything really. When I was diagnosed... it didn't surprise me, but yet I had just a weird assumption of PTSD. I had no clue about C-PTSD, nor did I realize how much it affected me and how much I NEEDED help... so it's brought a lot of waves in my life, lots of them. I've been through a lot of childhood up to now trauma, as many of you have as well. I'm hoping to gain more understanding, and also gain a group of friends who get it. Because in this world, people are kind of cruel with differences.. and it gets really lonely. After I was diagnosed, I then got with a therapist, but also a psychotherapist who specializes in trauma. I'm hopeful but also extremely  mixed. I have bits and pieces of memories of childhood and I know I've blacked out tons of them. I don't know if they'll come up, or if I'll be mostly in the dark for the rest of my life.. and I'm really hoping to live a good life and not be the blocker of it ...

[Jazzy]

Hi Elemey, and welcome!

Sorry to hear you had such a rough time that you went to the hospital, but it sounds like you're on a much better path now, so that's good. I hope things go well for you with the therapist and such. All the best on your healing journey.

[Kizzie]

HI Elemey and a warm welcome to OOTS    It can be scary to be diagnosed with CPTSD but many of us found it was a huge relief too because we finally knew what was making us feel the way we do.

I personally hid some of my symptoms for decades as I felt if I told anyone, including T's I would find out I was really unwell. How do you explain being triggered by something seemingly innocuous and having an emotional flashback? Back then no-one knew much about CPTSD including relational trauma survivors so we were wandering around in the dark basically.  Here we can just talk about things and members just get it which is a huge relief and helps make our symptoms so much more 'normal' - a normal response to trauma that is.

I hope you find the information and support helpful     

[Three Roses]

Hi there, welcome!

[marta1234]

Hi Elemey, welcome to the forum 

[Snowdrop]

Pleased to meet you, Elemey!

[Elemey]

Hi Elemey, and welcome!

Sorry to hear you had such a rough time that you went to the hospital, but it sounds like you're on a much better path now, so that's good. I hope things go well for you with the therapist and such. All the best on your healing journey.

Hey, thank you for that. It's a much much better path right now. I've been extremely focused on healing and everyday claiming my mind and emotions. So far, it's been extremely beneficial and challenging, but at the same time, it's worth every effort and I've shifted getting upset at the challenge to taking an opportunity to try and win every battle. I didn't realize how much I needed help, and before I was always terrified and nervous of people. I still have it, but now I'm aware of it. So my awareness of myself is becoming way more awake! Thank you very much for your kind words. I'm ready to heal and to put now my debilitating habits into healthy ones.

[Elemey]

HI Elemey and a warm welcome to OOTS    It can be scary to be diagnosed with CPTSD but many of us found it was a huge relief too because we finally knew what was making us feel the way we do.

I personally hid some of my symptoms for decades as I felt if I told anyone, including T's I would find out I was really unwell. How do you explain being triggered by something seemingly innocuous and having an emotional flashback? Back then no-one knew much about CPTSD including relational trauma survivors so we were wandering around in the dark basically.  Here we can just talk about things and members just get it which is a huge relief and helps make our symptoms so much more 'normal' - a normal response to trauma that is.

I hope you find the information and support helpful 

Hi~ Thank you very much for your kind words You are very right. It's been the longest journey feeling insane and hiding everything because I didn't understand anything I was going through. I felt maybe I was over exaggerating, weak, or anything really negative, but they were all legit coping mechanisms that worked and kept me alive and going as a kid. Now that I have this community here and an opportunity to have my eyes opened. I am going to heal and hopefully help others with the same issues. I've been trying tons of things and really really listening to my body and my mind so that by the end of the day I can say to God that I owned everything I gave and experienced. It's been extremely helpful and with more people to talk to, to love and to share experiences... it's been a hope I've never thought I would be able to get So thank you and I hope to hear from you and everyone here more as we go down this journey together. 

[owl25]

Welcome Elemey  I am glad you found the right people who diagnosed you and are helping you. Nice to have you here