How quickly do you change from one part to the other?

[Not Alone]

Regarding Walker's 13 steps: I have found that when I'm in a flashback, only a couple of the steps help me, especially if it's really bad.

It's just that I never seem to get past the point where I have to love my inner child. I have this picture of her... she is about 5 years old, and she is playing in the sand. Making a sand-castle or something. Whenever I approach her, she looks at me with so much distrust and suspicion in her eyes. Maybe also a lot of hurt... She is angry I think... I loose my confidence, and just walks away.
No wonder she is hurt and angry, really.. I've been so cruel to her...
*need to stop here... *

I had this thought. Disregard if it doesn't fit. Instead of coming real close to her, could you sit down a distance from her? Maybe just be with her in silence, or sing her a song, or read her a story. (I have borrowed children's books from the library and read those to some of my Littles.) Give her time and give yourself time.

You said you've been cruel to her. I'm not asking you to answer this here, but putting this out for you to think about. Have you really and truly been cruel to her? If you have been, how? Would you be able to say to her, "I know I hurt you by ______. I am sorry."?

I hope this isn't too much. I have a five year old Little too and my heart goes out to you and to her.

[Bella]

Thank you so much everyone for your comments! It is so comforting to know that someone out there understands, and that I'm not alone.
I appreciate every single one of you!
At the moment my days are more calm, and the "waves" not as huge as they were a while ago. So grateful for calm days where I can use my brain, and not be tossed around like a ragdoll by panic, fret and other uncontrolable emotions.
Again, thank you!