Dating but no attraction

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brightlight

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Dating but no attraction
« on: June 26, 2020, 08:43:28 PM »
I've been dating for about a year now but haven't been doing so since lockdown. One person I initially felt attracted to, I thought her was sweet when he offered me his scarf when I was cold and was had a laugh on 2-3 of our dates. He was quite stingy although had a good job, I don't mind sharing paying for things especially as we were just trying to  get to know each other. Anyway I was fed up with him saying he can't meet for 2 weeks because of this or that which I was okay once or twice as I have things to do too but the third time coupled with the stinginess just subsided my attraction, it just festered out. I ended the dating. So its good I know I don't want these certain negative qualities he had, stinginess, no commitment.

I started dating someone else who ticks all the boxes, nice guy, treats me with respect, we have some similar interests, pays for everything. He's punctual, has a good job ( this doesn't matter to me but he's self sufficient) but I just don't feel the attraction. I know people say attraction can grow but do you believe you just don't feel it with some people? We are I'd say friends and are still in touch. I'm not waiting on mr perfect as I know this doesn't exist and I really do want to be in a relationship. I have worked so much on managing and controlling my chronic pain which has made me very depressed and worsened my CPTSD. I feel in a place where I can have a relationship now. I would like someone to share simple things with like watching films together, cuddling on the sofa, going on holiday together.

Has anyone had any similar experiences while dating?

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Marian82

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Re: Dating but no attraction
« Reply #1 on: July 01, 2020, 05:48:38 PM »
I had bad dating experiences. Im dating a really kind, good guy now. I just dont feel the attraction...and i dont know if this can change. So im in the same boat.

Tbh i dont know if i will become attracted with him physically, but i think his character is more important and a reason to continue dating. I have no clue whether this is the right decision though, since we too are at the start of dating. I dont know if i could be physically attracted to anybody still...im so hurt in relationships.

Cant really help you, since im struggling with the same, but just wanted to say i understand the dilemma.
« Last Edit: July 01, 2020, 05:51:55 PM by Marian82 »