Running and trauma

[marta1234]

I don't know where to put this, so I'll just start here.

Tw: brief mention of de*th

Running is a big trigger for me. Or any physical exercise. The fact that my muscles hurt and I can't breathe properly just triggers this intense part (EF) to overwhelm me with feeling like dying and just unbearable pain. I've had this ever since middle school when we'd have physical exercise and we'd run. It was horrible and it just traumatized me even more. I was wondering if anyone else feels like this and if there are some soothing tricks that could help?

[Not Alone]

I also find exercise triggering. I'm afraid I don't know anything to help. I just don't do it. 

[Snowdrop]

There was a talk at an AVAIYA University event recently which discussed movement and trauma. The speaker said that he avoids making clients with trauma do things which increases their heart or breathing rate because it stimulates the fight or flight response.

The video is available here: https://youtu.be/amyPxA35uaI

[Armadillo]

Just seeing this and find it interesting. I can see how it can be a trigger for people for sure. I found yoga (breathing) deeply triggering.

I can see how running can trigger fight or flight. For me being deeply dissociated running and movement is perfect because it moves me in to fight for flight which is a little bit of a step up from shut down.

It just shows how trauma is complicated and not one size fits all.

[Blueberry]

It just shows how trauma is complicated and not one size fits all.

a thousand times.

I get triggered by exercise too but I think that could just be a FOO thing, like the way I always got criticised etc for being 'fat' though I wasn't back then, so too I got criticised for being 'unfit', not to mention slow and weak. I remember in my teens I was always ashamed if I started panting. Actually I was pretty much always ashamed for a lot of things. I used to get dizzy during exercise, start fainting, collapsing, seeing 'grey' as opposed to black. In fact once I saw a list of things like that where it said if you are experiencing one or more of these symptoms during exercise, speak to your family doctor. I was experiencing a lot more than one of those, but also knew by then that a trip to the doctor wouldn't help anything. They would do some physical measurements and declare me healthy and 'nothing to worry about'.

How things are these days I note I cannot even begin to write so I won't this time. maybe another time.

Armadillo, my current T does breathing exercises with me to bring up emotions, but of course in a controlled way. So I'm not surprised that the breathing in yoga was deeply triggering for you. 

[Armadillo]

I'm sorry BB that you felt so sick and had such scary symptoms while exercising as a kid and couldn't get help and instead were shamed. Mean poopoo heads.  Sorry. Those are just the words that came to mind.  I know they were much worse than that.

I also want to clarify on the yoga thing,  just in case it happens to someone else who stumbles on this site....it's always comforting to know when you aren't alone....it was the sound of breathing from other people around me. It started before class even started. I was just laying there and others were "warming up." The breathing of a few of the men got really loud and amplified in my brain and I was sobbing and shaking on the floor every time they inhaled before class even started.

I'd be curious though BB what breathing your T has you do to bring up emotions if and when you are able to write about it? I still am numb to mine mostly and though I want to cry or get angry in therapy I haven't been able to yet.