Trying to be big when I’m not

[Tee]

  Hi Bach,
How are things going?

[Tee]

I'm so tired tonight bbut I I ddont want tto ggo tto sleep😣😫😭 it's to scary!

[Not Alone]

Little One, I know that you feel afraid to go to sleep. That is so hard. I wish I was there to talk to you softly until you felt safe enough to rest.

[Tee]

Me ttoo notalone. I'm sso  tired though I'm I'm going tto try ggoing tto sleep.😔😣😢. I hope it wworks. Nnight!  Everyone!

[Tee]

Ttee went to counseling tonight. But the T wanted tto talk to mme.  She told that none of the mean things my mommy said or called me are true.  That my head hurts because it is fighting itself for what to believe the things my mommy said or the things my T says.  She says that I'm not bad that bbad people taught me things little girls are not suppose to know. ☹️🥺 I think that the bad things that happened are my fault but she says that can't be true cause I'm just little. But I don't know

[Not Alone]

Hi Little One. (Is it okay if I call you "Little One"?) I completely understand how confusing  it is. My Little Parts have had our therapist tell them the same thing. The adult me can tell you, your Mommy was broken. Not your fault. I know it is really confusing. Not your fault. You are NOT bad.

[Tee]

 You can call me Little one if you want.  I'm bad though I I did and ddo bad things☹️🥺 that's why mmmy mmmmommmy gets so mmad. Then I I I get in ttrouble and and she beats mme and tells mme how dumb I I am and and that's why I'm stupid and dumb and bbad😖☹️🥺😢

[Not Alone]

Your mommy should have protected and cared for you. I know it's hard to understand, but your Mommy was wrong to hurt you like that. I'm so sad that she treated you like that. If I was with you, I'd take you on my lap and tell you that you are a sweet, good, smart, precious girl.

[Tee]

  I I so mmad at Ttee she wwent to to the ddoctor and then left mme there.   I I was there all by mmmyself getting my mmommy parts squished.  It hurt a lot and she she shouldn't have left me there

[Bach]

Can you tell Tee you are mad at her?  I didn't used to know I could talk to Bach and tell her what I want but now I found out I can.  She doesn't always listen but it makes me feel better that I can talk!

[Tee]

  I I don't know how to to do that.  She doesn't talk to me either.

[Tee]

I I having a hard time right nnow. I I remembering things that are really bbad. That that make mme a really rreally bbad person. It's stuck in mmy head what I I dddid. I I nnot sure how to mmake it sstop.

[Snowdrop]

I'm sorry you have such bad memories, little one. I know how hard this must be for you.

What happened wasn't your fault. You're not a bad person. You're precious and sweet, little one, and I care about you very much. If you were here with me now I'd wrap you up in a soft blanket and read you stories.

[Tee]

TW
I I like stories bbut I I nnot deserve them I I nnot a ggood Little girl I I nnot ggood. I I was really really really bbad.  He made mmade me ddo something really really bbad to to his little girl who was 4. I I  nnot ggood ii rreally rreally bbad. I I should be be beat up bbad nnot snuggled. 

[Snowdrop]

He made you do it, little one. He was the bad person. Not you. You're not bad for doing what he made you do. He was older than you and should have known better. I hear your hurt, but it's on him. Not you, little one.