#8 - starting over

[Bach]

 

[Three Roses]

 

[sanmagic7]

thank you, owl.  i hope so, too.  i don't want to be a widow.

bach and 3r, thank you so for the hugs.  much appreciated 

talked w/ him last nite, he's going back to the doc today cuz his throat's worse.  they've got him on erythromycin, tamiflu, and an anti-inflammatory.  that's how they're treating possible covid cases in mex.  it sounds like the best bet right now.  i know he's scared, and i'm scared for him.  it's not good for me to be worried, but i can't help it.  the stress is building - i can feel my insides vibrating, and i'm all stuffed up today.  time to hit the meds.

i've now dealt w/ 4 deaths due to covid, and i know several people in mex. who are sick with it.  i feel like i'm in a death spiral, only it's not pretty like when the ice skaters do it.  i've had people die in my life, but not in these numbers, not in such a short time.  i'm basically sheltering in place again cuz the numbers in our state are going up.  we're glad our neighbor is out of town and we can't get to the farmers market - feels too risky, even tho it's outside.  ours is a tourist town, and people come there from everywhere else.  our little town is doing ok on its own, but i'm waiting for that to change now. 

i'm getting a very bleak outlook about all this, and i don't like that, either.  time to hit the medicine cabinet.

[Bach]

Thinking of you and your husband, San  

[sanmagic7]

thank you, bach.  i appreciate it a lot. 

gonna talk to him soon, see how he's doing, if the doc said anything new today.  fingers crossed, prayers flying.

[Snowdrop]

I'm adding extra prayers for you and your hub. I hope he feels better soon.

[sanmagic7]

thanks, snowdrop - much appreciated.  we can use all the divine intervention available!

well, he didn't go to the doc, but says he'll go today.  that's the thing w/ him, and was so frustrating to live with - he's says he'll do something, i get agitated expecting it to be done, then he doesn't follow thru.  argh!  still, he's feeling crappy, and i know he's scared, and he says people are getting sick all over that little town.  it's disheartening for me, too, cuz i knew a lot of people there and they're good people.  just very poor.  i scared down to the pit in my gut.

[Not Alone]

  Praying for you and husband.

[sanmagic7]

thank you, notalone - very appreciated.   

[Tee]

  hugs I I hope every one is is ok Ssan.

[sanmagic7]

thank you, tee, for your well wishes and hugs.

i just finished talking to my hub, he got tested today, but he's quite sure he's got it.  he's already lost his sense of taste and smell.  i'm heartbroken, don't know what to do w/ myself.  can't cry yet.  i read to him, like i used to do at nite, but i'm reading our story, the one i wrote in 'crutches' about our first 3 months together, when we found each other and saved each other's lives.  he was glad to hear it, glad to hear something besides this frickin' illness to go to sleep with.  i'm just sick in my heart. 

he'll have the test results on mon.  i want to be able to read to him the whole book so he knows his story is going to be out there for the world to read if they want to.  his is such an amazing story, and he's had several people tell him he should write it down.  it's a miracle story, really, and he helped me stay alive until today.  i owe him my life, and vice versa.  this is going to nearly kill me if he can't pull out of it.  i don't know what i'll be good for, except i will bear it like everything else, one foot in front of the other, but i don't know how much stumbling i'll be doing.  this is another nightmare to live thru. 

[sanmagic7]

i'm sitting here, made a few responses to other posts, now i came back here because i don't know what to do.

[Snowdrop]

I'm so sorry, San. Hang in there. We've got you.

[owl25]

I'm so sorry sanmagic This has got to be terrifying for you both.   

[Tee]

  most people who get Covid do get better. With rest and hydration. Ttee works at a hospital. You jjust have to to stay home and take care of yourself.  I hope he gets better. Tell him to rest.