#8 - starting over

[Bach]

san, I can imagine how terrified you are and how difficult this is, especially being separated from him.  But even if he does have Covid, as Tee said, most people who get it do get better with rest and hydration.  So if he does have it, he can help himself by making sure to do those things.  For what it's worth, I believe I had Covid when I was sick in January because I had the symptoms, in particular the loss of taste and smell, and I got better after I stopped thinking I could shake it and lay down to rest for a couple of weeks.  Also, my friend who has a severe autoimmune disorder who I thought would be a goner for sure if she caught it had what was probably it, and she recovered too.  Please try not to let yourself plunge down into the spiral of worst case scenario thinking.

Lots of love and prayers going out to you and your husband   

[sanmagic7]

snowdrop, owl, tee, bach - thank you all so much for your support and caring.  i'll pass on your suggestions to him.

i'm doing my best not to go to the worst place about this, but last nite i could hear that his breathing is changing while he talks.  i think he's had this for several weeks - i've heard him coughing, he said he just had a cold.  he's enjoying me reading to him our story and told me last nite he doesn't feel alone, can feel me there with him, knows that if i were there i'd be taking care of him, so i felt good about that.  especially that he doesn't feel alone. 

they're having a heat wave there this week, 125-135 he said.  i've been there when it was 125 degrees, maybe even 127, and it's suffocating to be out in it for more than a few minutes.  while the people who live there are used to the heat, even these temps are too much to move around in for any length of time.  he does have a/c, but he's in a trailer, and it's like a tin can in the hot sun.  my d and i were able to find a little extra money to send him to make sure he can pay the elec. bill and keep the a/c on, just so he's comfortable at least.

he told me that one doc down there is giving a series of 10 injections that seems to be helping people.  i have no idea what those might be, what kind of medicine.  he told me that some docs were giving out anit-parasite meds to combat this virus.  they do medical stuff down there quite differently than here.  i don't think they have an FDA approval system, so they just grab some drugs and give it a go.

at any rate, i'm nursing him as best i can from a distance, but, honestly, i'd probably already be dead if i were down there.  between age and compromised immune system, and damaged lungs from years of smoking, well, i'm glad i'm here, able to help my d.  i'll do what i can for him,  at least reading to him helps us both go to sleep with good thoughts and memories, so that's a plus.  i just want him to be able to hear his story before it's too late.  i'm very sad tho.  no one should have to go thru any of  this.

[Tee]

 

[sanmagic7]

thanks for the hug, tee.  love it!   

just playing the waiting game now.  i've been doing some editing, but as the clock moves forward, i'm finding myself more and more tense.  time for a break. 

[Tee]

Remember to breathe hugs sending you good thoughts and love. 

[sanmagic7]

thank you, tee.  i'm breathing.   

he's positive.  the doc put him on a blood thinner.

i'm lost.

[Snowdrop]

I'm so sorry, San.

I know you feel lost, but remember that most people get better. Getting a positive result means that they will be better able to treat him.

Sending you much love and big hugs, dear San. Hang in there. We've got you.

[Three Roses]

  hugs full of strength and refreshing!

[Tee]

Plus it sounds like he has already had it for several weeks so he is probably already on the mend. Think positive thoughts my friend who had it for sure said it took about 3 weeks before she started feeling better.  I hope he feels better soon stay strong sending a big hug of strength and encouragement

[sanmagic7]

snowdrop, 3r, tee - thank you so much for your well wishes and support.  they are much appreciated.   

he has a fighting spirit, no doubt about that.  i have nothing left, tho.  i'm bearing this, like i've borne everything else in my life, just holding it cuz there are other things to do.  i have a deadline to meet, have to be there for my d cuz she's having a tough time right now, too, emotionally.  i'm just doing what needs to be done.

he has so many strikes against him - over 65, hepatitis c for over 30 yrs. from his needle-sharing days, compromised immune system from that, i hear him cough while we're on the phone, damaged lungs from smoking crystal meth for many years, and he's overweight.  what will happen will happen - i'm reading to him at night so he at least can go to sleep with laughter and love.  the meds his doc wants him to take are not in town, so he's trying to find some thru other contacts.  his brother has his back, which was really good to know, and his SIL will cook for him, so that's good.

i just pray that he doesn't have to suffer.  he's sposed to be in isolation for 2 weeks, but that won't really happen.  he's poor, so he doesn't have access to the kinds of services and accommodations that we're used to up here, and he'll be going around town trying to find someone to get the meds for him.  he does have a lot of connections. 

i'm just reeling cuz i've been thru too much in a short amount of time.  can't get my feet under me.  i just have to carry on.

[Bach]

Sending love and prayers, san 

[Snowdrop]

Wrapping you up in a big warm hug.

[Tee]

 

[marta1234]

  praying for you San 

[sanmagic7]

thanks for the hugs and prayers, everyone.

i talked w/ him tonite.  his cough is getting worse, and he talked to me about the last plans he's making.

i'm crying inside, just holding myself together as best i can till this book is done.  then i will probably fall apart.

watched an episode of buffy tonite, where spike says a line that describes exactly how i feel - can we rest now?  can we finally rest now? 

nope, not yet.