New and not sure where to go from here

[Mius]

Hi I'm a 41 year old male.
I was abused as a child by my mother. I had turned my back on her 20 years ago, but I have a son now and I guess my love for him broke my brain. My life fell apart about a year and a half ago. I got really depressed (to the point of suicidal thoughts). They were not new but shaking them this time was almost impossible. My anxiety attacks made it impossible to be reliable, so I stopped working and stayed in my room basically for almost 8 months. I started therapy with the help of my lovely wife. It has helped a little. I find the meds hardly change anything.

My therapist is working to get in to see a shrink. I hope that will help some more.
I found you guys after a year of reading as much as I could (insomnia is good for something haha)

Its hard for me to imagine that there are others out there who hurt the same as I do.
But this site has spoken to me like nothing I have ever been exposed to.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post

Mius

[marta1234]

Welcome. I'm glad you found us. 

[sigiriuk]

Hi Mius
Welcome and pleased to meet you. This has been a useful place for me too. This is my family.
Having children seems to be a trigger for some people. Memories tend to come back on average 20 years later. I hope you can look after yourself during this time.
Feel free to PM me if you have any questions
Slim

[Not Alone]

Welcome, Mius. I'm sorry you are in so much pain, but glad you have found this group. Thank you for introducing yourself.

[buddy9832]

Hi Mius, welcome. I too have young kids. I never expected it but in both instances they have been very triggering causing me to go off the deep end a few times. I think for me it's something about them bringing up reminders of my childhood and not wanting them to be like me.

I hope this place will provide you an avenue to heal. I've been here for a few months and it's definitely helping.

[Three Roses]

Welcome Mius, I found seeing a psychiatrist very helpful as opposed to getting a prescription from my pcp or therapist. My antidepressant had stopped working for me, but I'm on a different type now and I'm feeling much better.

Thanks for joining, and adding your voice to ours.

[Mius]

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement 

[Snowdrop]

Welcome Mius! I'm glad you're here.

[WhiteNoise]

Hello Mius, I'm also new here. You are absolutely not alone, and I hope that your ongoing journey is a healing one.

[Kizzie]

Hi Mius, a warm welcome to OOTS!