Further Adventures of Elpha

[Elphanigh]

Figured I would come here for a short moment because this state of life is odd. My ggm took another decline last night and everyone is a little more on edge today because it seems that loss is imminent. It has been over a week and we are just watching this slowly occur. The declines come in spurts like last night so who knows.


On the other end of my life, I am starting with my first official clients next week and am planning a move. Enjoying life as a new fledgling therapist.

Then of course I am doing deep work in therapy and really seeing some progress emotionally.


It feels like all of those certainly can't happen at the same time but yet they are. So life feels odd right now because I am rarely certain from one moment to the next what I will feel or where my energy will need to be going.

[Armadillo]

This waiting for the inevitable loss must be so emotionally tiring. 

There's a lot going on all at once! A lot of big things! I'm sort of in awe of how you are just riding these waves.....steady....moving forward...

[Elphanigh]

It is definitely emotionally draining but I am taking care of myself in all the ways I know how. I think that is probably how I am riding the waves as well as I am. Also, just healthy tears and distraction when I need to use them. 

[BeeKeeper]

It feels like all of those certainly can't happen at the same time but yet they are.

Lots of encouragement and cheering for you from the sidelines.

[Elphanigh]

So update to the update.. she passed away a while ago. I spent time calling my siblings and letting it settle. I can truly grieve now although I am not sure where to begin that process. I don't really have the words past that it still feels pretty awful. 

[Armadillo]

 

It'll probably feel awful for awhile. Lots of hugs to hold you through.

[BeeKeeper]

Elpha,

I'm sorry for your pain and loss. Stay kind and gentle with yourself.

[Blueberry]

 

[Elphanigh]

Thank you everyone  I am doing okay. I have been extra tired and a little extra sensitive but doing okay. I am finding my ability to grieve and feel is a lot better than it used to be. It feels like I am finding healthy ways to deal with the loss.

[Elphanigh]

Well, I know it has been basically forever since I posted (really it has only been a month). I have coped with the loss that I posted about then as well as everything that would follow.

I guess I come here to update that I did move states again 10 days ago and am settling into life here. It was a lot to handle but seems to be calming down now. I do have to make one more trip to get the rest of my stuff this weekend but I am hopeful that will go off without a problem. Otherwise, I have been slowly growing my therapist case load and building relationships with my first set of clients as a licensed mental health professional. It is a little surreal at times but I am doing my best every day for myself and for others I hope to help.

Things have definitely not been all rainbows and sunshine the last month. Honestly, there have been some terribly hard and challenging weeks in there but I am making it and starting to see what this chapter in my life is going to look like. I don't truly have the energy to go into it all but I was thinking of this space and everyone here so I thought I would stop by. 

[Blueberry]

 

[woodsgnome]

So glad you stopped by, Elphanigh. 

It's illuminating to see how you've made it in the early stages of the new adventure, while taking a few moments to check in here again. Here where you took those shaky steps forward.to make it all the way through to where you are now.

There's already been ups/down and ins/outs. It's good to hear you with your new, more confident, settled voice.

[Elphanigh]

Blueberry, thank you for the 

Woodsgnome, always wonderful to hear from you. I am grateful I can stop by this place. It holds such a large piece of my journey and many people I care about from afar. One day, I might go back and read my old journals again to see how far from those shaky first steps I have come. If someone told me I would be a therapist and in my own place back then I would have laughed and dismissed it entirely. I would not change where I am for anything. It has meant so many difficult times but also many beautiful ones as well. I am definitely more confident and settled as you read into my voice. It has been a long road to this place and I know there is a sort of new road ahead as well. 

[Hope67]

Hi Elpha,
Good to hear from you.  Sending you a hug,   

Hope 

[BeeKeeper]

Elpha,

The energy it takes to move between states, establish yourself professionally and keep it together...well herculean!!!! Just those facts are a testament to your growth and progress, not sure you'd need to read old journals, except to be amazed at your resiliency and capacity. It's wonderful to read your updates. Thanks for sharing yourself.