Further Adventures of Elpha

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Elphanigh

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Re: Further Adventures of Elpha
« Reply #135 on: November 25, 2020, 05:54:59 PM »
So things are a roller coaster right now. There is so much good and excitement but there is also many things that are hard, painful, or scary. On the good side, only 4 pages of writing stand between me and the end of this semester (yes, I am pausing to write here instead but it is my lunch break), I then only have one semester of grad school left and a licensure test to allow me to be a therapist, I enjoy being a play therapist and am constantly receiving great feedback, I have EMDR training in just less than 3 weeks  :cheer: , and I do really feel like I have found my calling. I am also finding ways to get self-care and rest in the busy schedule which is a long earned skill.  On the more difficult side, is knowing I need to work on my trauma stuff as much as I can over break, knowing I am unemployed until January which I was not financially planning, I have surgery in 6 days on my dominant hand and it will be several weeks before I can use it for even basic things like typing, cooking etc, my M was supposed to try to come out to help and can't so I have to learn to depend a bit more on the people around me but it does also save me some complicated feelings of her being here, but surgery and recovery is scary especially amid a pandemic where going to medical places gives me more risk.. but the outcomes of this surgery means I could go back to doing so many things I love without pain finally. I have missed playing music and being able to draw or even just handwrite.. I just have to let it get worse before it gets better.

Anyways, I know most of that was not trauma or cptsd related but for  now that is what I needed. Trauma stuff gets to wait for me to finish this final paper and honestly as much as I can I would like for it to at least be low level so I can focus on physical health before and after my surgery. I know that is not likely but it would be nice. Well, now it is lunch time and then to write a beautiful 4 pages elsewhere.  :hug:

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sanmagic7

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Re: Further Adventures of Elpha
« Reply #136 on: November 25, 2020, 11:17:54 PM »
sounds like you not only have a lot on your plate right now, but in the near future as well.  you're doing magnificently, my dear el, and i'm so proud of you.  the finish line is in sight, and your new trauma training is right around the corner.  i have no doubt all will be well.  you're one of the best jugglers i know!   :yes:  much love and a hug full of encouragement and support. :hug:

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Elphanigh

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Re: Further Adventures of Elpha
« Reply #137 on: November 26, 2020, 12:44:22 AM »
San, you are very right. I have a lot on my plate and continue to have a lot. Honestly as busy as it sounds the next two months are the biggest break I have gotten in a long time. I am super stoked to be able to see the finish line and to get my EMDR training done. It will be a great tool to have in my belt. Thank you for always have faith I can do it and juggle all the things. It is a talent mostly. For now, I am going to try to focus on prepping for surgery and enjoying a bit of time now that the semester is over.

Sending you lots of love  :hug: :hug:

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Blueberry

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Re: Further Adventures of Elpha
« Reply #138 on: November 28, 2020, 09:16:30 PM »
sounds like you not only have a lot on your plate right now, but in the near future as well.  you're doing magnificently

 :yeahthat: :yeahthat: It's great to hear that you think you've found your calling :thumbup: :thumbup: I'm really happy for you. :hug:

Good luck with the operation!

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notalone

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Re: Further Adventures of Elpha
« Reply #139 on: November 28, 2020, 10:51:17 PM »
I'm proud of you for your diligence in pursuing your career and for your continued personal growth and healing.

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Elphanigh

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Re: Further Adventures of Elpha
« Reply #140 on: November 29, 2020, 04:02:51 AM »
Thank you both  :hug:

Surgery is Tuesday, so basically 3 days from now. It is scary  :aaauuugh: but I am ready to be on the other side of it. I know it will be very difficult to not have to dominate hand for a while but I will make it. On the other side of this is (hopefully) a pain free hand with the ability to do the things I love with out having to worry about it. Even just the ability to handwrote without pain will be amazing.

All that being said, I do have many fears and nerves. The anticipatory anxiety is probably the worst part of this. It will likely be easier once I have gotten on the other side. So for now I clean my house, do some things iz won't be able to for who knows how long, and manage the anxiety in the best ways I know how.

Not a lot of trauma stuff right now because I have been enjoying down time from school, work, and clients. I have been focusing on rest and recovering from the semester. I will work on trauma stuff over break, prepping for the work to be done next semester. We learn to do processing work with clients and in order to learn we experience it. So I am have to prep what sort of stuff from my past is safe to do that in a class setting. Also to just be as level as possible after months of getting hit with on trauma thing after another.

I would also like to solve my nightmares. They have started pretty full force the last three weeks, despite taking a med for them. I think end of semester stress and surgery anxiety. Hopefully, they will pass once surgery occurs on Tuesday afternoon.

Anyways, on the note of rest I should go do that.

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woodsgnome

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Re: Further Adventures of Elpha
« Reply #141 on: November 30, 2020, 01:43:50 AM »
I'd just like to share this --  :hug: along with best wishes that the surgery goes well.

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Elphanigh

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Re: Further Adventures of Elpha
« Reply #142 on: November 30, 2020, 02:57:29 AM »
 :hug: I really appreciate that woodsgnome. I am nervous and a bit scared but I know the reward is worth the risk. I will let everyone know how it goes as soon as I can

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Elphanigh

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Re: Further Adventures of Elpha
« Reply #143 on: December 01, 2020, 05:02:50 PM »
Today's the day and I am nervous but managing. The hardest part is not getting to eat or drink water for 14.5 hours before surgery. I am excited to have it done with if for no other reason than to get food and water. Also to finally be on the side of this where healing happens rather than just anticipatory anxiety...

The younger parts of me have been pretty scared but I have them as taken care of as I can today.

Anyways, I have 40 ish minutes before I leave my house and 3.5 hours until surgery starts

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Snowdrop

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Re: Further Adventures of Elpha
« Reply #144 on: December 01, 2020, 06:49:26 PM »
I hope it goes well, Elpha. Thinking of you, and sending gentle hugs. :hug:

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marta1234

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Re: Further Adventures of Elpha
« Reply #145 on: December 01, 2020, 07:47:25 PM »
Sending you support and healing energy your way, Elpha. :) Hope it all goes well  :hug:

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Elphanigh

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Re: Further Adventures of Elpha
« Reply #146 on: December 02, 2020, 12:10:33 AM »
Thank you both. Just stopping by to say it went well and I am resting at home. 

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Blueberry

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Re: Further Adventures of Elpha
« Reply #147 on: December 02, 2020, 12:20:11 AM »
I'm glad it went well  :hug: Hope it continues to heal well and you get lots of rest  :zzz: :zzz:

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Elphanigh

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Re: Further Adventures of Elpha
« Reply #148 on: December 02, 2020, 03:16:48 AM »
Thanks! It's really sore but it should heal with time and rest.   :hug:

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Hope67

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Re: Further Adventures of Elpha
« Reply #149 on: December 04, 2020, 03:07:43 PM »
Dear Elpha,
I hope you're getting plenty of rest, and recuperating well.   :hug:
Take care,
Hope  :)