My First Step

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Mommyninja

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My First Step
« on: August 06, 2020, 05:46:32 PM »
Hello everyone. I'm new here and like most posts I've read, I kind of don't know what to do from here. Plus this will be my first time in a forum. Woohoo!

I'm on a mission to fix myself. I'm angry, anxious, emotional, self destructive, and I feel like just a plain mess. Suicidal thoughts are a norm for me. It scares me how disconnected I want to get when I really know it's not the answer. I have felt so messed up for so long. I was diagnosed as being bipolar and was on different meds throughout my life. Here I am many years later and I still have my "episodes. "

My new PA just taught me about C-PTSD and told me to do my own research. After reading so much these past 2 weeks I have been enlightened by what I have learned. It gives me hope. My darkness feels deep and I feel very alone. I hope this helps me by reaching out. I hope I can make a big difference within myself with some support. The right support! Thank you for reading.

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Three Roses

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Re: My First Step
« Reply #1 on: August 08, 2020, 02:48:34 PM »
Hello and welcome to the forum, Mommyninja!
 :heythere:

When I was diagnosed with PTSD almost 10 years ago now, like you I dove in and read everything I could find on the subject. Ultimately, my research led me to the discovery of cptsd and this forum.

I devoured "The Body Keeps The Score" which gave me the biggest feeling of validation I think I'd ever had. And now, "Internal Family Systems Therapy" by Richard Schwartz is giving me the most relief and progress I've ever experienced.

Cptsd is an injury, not an illness. There is hope and healing for all of us - we're here to support you on your journey to find yours.

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Kizzie

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Re: My First Step
« Reply #2 on: August 08, 2020, 03:27:14 PM »
Hi and a warm welcome to OOTS  :heythere:

Dive right in as it's a relief to find out what's going on, but we often recommend taking breaks as it can be overwhelming at the same time - too much of anything and all that   :grouphug:

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Mommyninja

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Re: My First Step
« Reply #3 on: August 09, 2020, 04:19:20 PM »
Thank you Three Roses! I will definitely look into those books. I want to feel better about myself. I want to learn how to heal myself. Your supportive words are very helpful.

Kizzie, thank you so much for providing the opportunity for someone like me to be heard and reach out. I will definitely take your advice on breaks. I don't want to get too overwhelmed too quickly.

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Kizzie

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Re: My First Step
« Reply #4 on: August 09, 2020, 05:02:36 PM »
 :grouphug:

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notalone

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Re: My First Step
« Reply #5 on: September 06, 2020, 11:23:51 PM »
Welcome.  :heythere: